The best thing I did for my business (and my sanity and my marriage) was to hire a cleaner.
We hired a woman who loves to clean and she is so god damn good at it, seriously….zone of genius. It suits her life and family, is incredible at it, likes the exercise and loves taking care of our home.
I am pretty sure that for the best part of the last couple of decades, I have been keenly seeking and searching for not just my own purpose, but information to help others find theirs.
I have read close to a hundred books on the subject, read countless blogs, webinars, quizzes, conversations, coaching.
I’ve searched the terrain.
Is it just me, or is there something just so soul satisfying to be a part of a collective where you are surrounded by folks who ‘get you’? Who you share interests with? Share our challenges and our wins?
Recently, in a Facebook Group I am apart of, one of the women posted on a thread;
“I feel like something is changing in my life. I feel like I am losing friends, and the ones I have left, I am finding I don’t want to talk about the same old small talk stuff with them anymore. And actually, I am finding our interactions pretty boring. Is this normal and what can I do to make new friends”?
Now, some would say that is harsh right? Who gets bored with their friends?
If you have followed me for a while, you may remember me writing about the moment when I was 11 when I had this inkling that my father wasn’t my father.
That inkling soon turned into a full blown knowing, that at that age I didn’t really know how to explain and so when I shared the feeling with my poor, unsuspecting, neighbour, I am pretty sure she thought their friend may have been going cray-zee.
It can some times feel like, with all the people doing all the things, that we really don’t matter much.
We can look left and look right and see that all the humaning things looked to be covered off by other folks.
And so we wonder what on earth we have to contribute and what we might be able to offer in this big wide world. And so, we don’t do anything.
Actually, there really is one reason that folks don’t succeed. Fear. But let’s break it down to the top 4 was fear shows up, preventing us from moving forward.
Comparison. Procrastination. Distraction. Perfectionism.
It was rough. It really was.
But you holding ‘getting over it’ on your own. It doesn’t mater how much you know, or how skilled you are, even heart surgeons cannot perform open heart surgery on themselves. Therapists see therapists. Trust me. They do. I see them. They see me. We are simply not meant to do it alone.
I know what it’s like to feel like no one can help.
That no one understands.
Saturday, the day before mothers day, I spent the entire day at the kids school fete. Like a lot of mums from our school, we sat and watched our kids perform in a variety of different cultural expressions. Plays, dances, sing song things.
Personally, I enjoyed it. I love watching my kids do stuff they love, and ultimately, I have learnt, that no one has a gun to my head, so if I don’t want to go, I won’t.
Hey sweet one!
Recently I’ve been exploring (and noticing more and more in conversations) about what it feels like to undo old patterns and notice things in our lives that used to serve us, and now no longer do.
It might be friendships, intimate relationships, jobs, places where folks live.
The mere questioning of what suits us can sometimes (usually) feel really unsettling.
This of course makes sense, because when we begin to question patterns that have kept things ‘safe’ and ‘familiar’ the nervous system (which is designed to keep us safe) starts to freak out…
Each week (ish) I receive a very brief email from the team at Martha Beck Wayfinding Life Coaching (definitely worth subscribing to).
This week, the ‘compass point’ read,
“Learn to choose what nourishes you, not what poisons you”. Martha Beck
Initially, when it’s read, it seems a bit like, “well duh, doesn’t it make sense that we’d choose what nourishes over what poisons”?