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0 comments on “This messes with my mind every.single.time”

This messes with my mind every.single.time

I cannot tell you how many times, my mind has had me in all kinds of expectation spills over the years. 

Expectations of other people. And as a recovering control freak, I used to have pretty high expectations of how people ‘should’ behave in the world. 

The bar was pretty high. 

People ‘should’ get back to me when I message them. 

They ‘should’ just know that when they say that I will feel like this. 

It’s a kind of passive aggressive way of saying, “if you behave like that, I will feel like this, and instead of me actually taking responsibility and making a choice that supports me, I will blame you because you are flawed and are triggering me”. 

It wasn’t until I found the work of Byron Katie that my little mind started to shift. In a positive direction. 

0 comments on “4 reason why folks might not be moving forward….”

4 reason why folks might not be moving forward….

Actually, there really is one reason that folks don’t move forward. Fear. But let’s break it down to the top 4 was fear shows up, preventing us from moving forward. 

Comparison. Procrastination. Distraction. Perfectionism. 

  1. Comparison. What are they doing? How are they better than me? Is mine as good, as big as nice as theirs? 

I absolutely have been crippled by this one in the past! No doubt about it. 

But here is what I know to be true. When I compare myself, it 100% of the time never leaves me feeling particularly good. And, when I don’t feel good, I don’t create good. Period.

0 comments on “No wonder my brain hurst sometimes….”

No wonder my brain hurst sometimes….

Recently I have been thinking a bit. Which, for me isn’t uncommon, but yet, lately, I have been thinking even more deeply. More abstractly. And on reading it, may even seem more negatively.

I’ve been thinking about how not that long ago in human history, woman were literally killed, burnt at the stake, shames and vilified for their desire to help the humans, by using methods like intuition, herbs, plants, feeling.

I’ve been thinking how this vilification and shaming is most likely still a part of our DNA and those of us who are healing support folks, are most likely carrying some kind of witch wound.

0 comments on “Personally, I’m not a fan of being triggered.”

Personally, I’m not a fan of being triggered.

….but I understand trigger things. So, even though I am not a raving fan, I am maybe…kinda…a tiny bit…friends with triggers. 

Well, today anyway. 

And I’m not talking about gun triggers…although, if I sit with that a bit, actually gun triggers do trigger me a little. Guns most certainly do. 

In case you don’t know what we mean by trigger, which if you hang out in ‘spiritual’ circles or have done a bit of personal growth work or have seen a therapist..what we mean by trigger is basically, in the most simple of terms, something that that occurs outside of you, that sets off a series of feelings and emotions (usually unpleasant) with in you! It elicits a physical response and often isn’t even conscious, depending on the impact on the nervous system. 

Usually, these triggers are attached to memories of an unpleasant experience you have had previously or it simply could just trigger uncomfortable feelings. 

Have you ever been triggered? Or maybe the better question to ask is, “what recently has triggered you?” 

If you live in the world, filled with humans and fast moving things and access to the media and responsibilities and bills to pay, it is highly likely you have been triggered by something recently. 

Before we go on to the whole, ‘well, what do we do when we are triggered’, lets  take a big breath together and know, that it is human to experience these uncomfortable feelings that come with triggers. So please, allow your body to relax and know that there is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken or bad. Exhale. 

Triggers are SO personal. Some people are triggered by a song, or a scent or the mere sight of an animal. 

Some are triggered by a place, or a sound or a memory. 

Some are triggered by a ‘type’ of person, or a specific person, or an accent or a the smell of curry (or in my case Midory).

Some are triggered at the mere mention of the word trigger. 

It’s deeply personal! 

It’s not fair to judge ourselves by our triggers. Instead, it is our job to pay attention to them and get curious about them. And it certainly is not fair to judge anyone else either! 

A while back, during a session with my therapist (yes, I have a therapist….and a mentor coach, and a doctor and a naturopath..because…it takes a tribe people), we did some work that lets just say, triggered the f*ck out of me. 

I left the session saying I was never going back. I left there believing that she was unprofessional, that she had overstepped my boundaries and should know better and was out of line and…god, I am sure there was a whole lot of other things I thought. 

I was pissed.

It triggered a sense of discomfort so big for my nervous system, that I needed to run. And in order to run, I had to make her a threat. 

I’ve been doing this human work now for a good while, and perhaps somewhere in me, is the expectation that I am not going to get triggered. That I am bulletproof. That I am above all of that. 

Oh pft! 

Nope. 

Human here. 

BUT, given I have been doing this for a good while, what I am able to do, is recalibrate pretty quickly…mostly! 

We’re interested in the how part right? 

Well, can I first say, that there is no RIGHT way to deal with the human condition. 

There is no ONE way to reach peace and calm. Just as there are a variety of foods that are available to people to serve different tastes and desires, same is said for ways to support uncomfortable feelings. 

What I can say though, in both research and practice there are a few tools that, when applied (and this is the kicker….to apply them), we can reach a new level of understanding. 

Have you ever been having a dream, so lovely and delightful, that when you unexpectedly are woken from it, you get pissed off? 

What I have come to see, is that when we get triggered, it is a similar response. Triggers my love, come to wake us up! 

To wake us up from where we are asleep to our true desires. Asleep to the illusion that we have it all sorted. Wake us up from the BS stories that we carry around about ourselves or about others.

And ultimately, triggers come as our teachers. A call to wake up and make some new choices. 

To wake up and heal the old pain. 

Ok. Breath now. In and out. 

Did that trigger you? 

What do you mean that shop attendant who was a bitch and didn’t make eye contact, and shrugged at me is a teacher? 

What do you mean my sister who ignores all of my messages all of the time is my teacher? 

What do you mean? 

The simple truth is, when a trigger shows up, that is when the work begins. 

And by work, I don’t mean years of therapy. 

By work I mean, let’s get curious here! 

Okay, so let’s play with some ‘what do I do?’ options. 

This is actually best written down by the way. Something powerful happens in the transformation process when we write this stuff down. Try it and tell me if I am wrong! 

1. Tell the truth to yourself (or a trusted friend or counsellor) about how you feel. PLEASE don’t tell anyone who will listen…this just passes on the trigger energy and isn’t actually that helpful for anyone. 

2. Feel all the feelings that come with the trigger. All of them. Allow all the feelings to come. If you can, label them. Name them. Call them out. Write them down. For some of us folks who have shut down feelings for a good while, this can be a tricky experience and you may need support with this step. Again, a therapist or trauma informed coach can help here. 

3. Answer this next question, “What pattern in ME, is this trigger trying to wake ME up to?”


That third step, can be a doozy. 

Remember, the triggers are trying to wake us up. Because if we were awake, we wouldn’t get pissed off, because there would be no delicious dream and delusion we were lost in. 

It’s doozy right. 

AND it is a meditation. 

I did this very process when my therapist triggered me. 

And when the lights came on and I was FULLY wake and out of my pissed off woken from a dream state, I saw EXACTLY what was brought to me. I saw the EXACT pattern what I was trying to wake myself up to. 

Because really, we are all just bringing in experiences to wake ourselves up.

So next time you are triggered, celebrate hunny! You are waking up! 

Waking up to more of who you are. More of your magic. Your mystery. Your divine essence. 

Oh and pst….in case you need reminding, my work is all abut helping us come home to our truth. To line up who we are with what we do. To help you create the environment best for your thriving. To help you see blindspots. To share my journey and research and experience that might help you navigate this humaning adventure. Click HERE to head to the page with the offerings on it.

Well beauty, until we next meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing beautiful you! 

Big love
Jen
xxx
 

0 comments on “Is your inbox filled with unopened emails like mine?”

Is your inbox filled with unopened emails like mine?

Hi lovely, 

If you have been reading along with my emails recently, you would have seen that I was a big chuffed with my experience implementing the MarieKondo method in our home recently. 

We are 90% Kondo-ed. Just a couple of cupboards left. Which I am super looking forward to getting sorted. I’ve even got some excited children who are keen to help! 

*ching*

More recently, I have been in the mood to Kondo my email subscriptions. 

My inbox is so often filled with emails that I am never going to read. And usually it’s from online stores that I have purchased off, or when I have chosen to sign up to some thing for some reason like 5 years ago, and I never open the emails. But they still keep coming. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if l there was a system in the email world that if you didn’t open an email for like, for ever, it would automatically just unsubscribe! #isthereanappforthat #isthatagapinthemarket

Anyway, as I have been unsubscribing, I have been paying close attention to what emails I do open. Often, if not all the time. And I wanted to share them with you. Because, if you read my stuff, then it’s likely you would vibe with theirs as well. 

I personally want to read emails that I feel like add value to my life. Emails filled with content that is helpful to me, consistently. Content that makes me feel good after I have finished reading it. 

Oh and side note, I ALWAYS read the emails I get from you! 

These are my top 3 from email lists. 

So, it is of no surprise I am sure, that you know I am going to say Martha Beck.  She (or rather her team) sends out little inspiring emails most often, that are just a Martha quote. Then, from time to time, she will end an email, filled with some of the most heart expanding and often mind blowing stuff about humaning as well. Yeah, I love them.

Another email I am almost 100% likely to open are the ones that come from Mastin Kipp. They are chock filled with support for us humans. Especially in the areas of trauma, and fulfilling purpose and passion. Big fan! 

And finally, I love to receive emails from Marie Forleo. Filled with super charged entrepreneurial content. She’s funny, insightful and is a kick arse business woman. 

So, they are my top 3 email list subscription things. Now, I’d love to hear yours. Hit the reply button and lay them on me! 

Heres to sharing the love. 

Until next we meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing beautiful you. 

Big love
Jen
xxx

PS. Have you booked and Emotional Anatomy assessment yet? I have a 3 session package that is just the ducks nuts or bee’s knees. Or some other animals good thing! I’d love to see you for these life altering sessions.
Prices start at $180. Go here for more.

“I just wasn’t expecting my body to communicate so much truth. Actually, it was a bit spooky. I loved it. After the 3 sessions my path was totally ignited”. Ellen.H. 
0 comments on “Finding Your True Talents”

Finding Your True Talents

If you are like me, you grew up in a generation that didn’t really pay too much attention helping us focus on what our talents were. 

When I grew up, talent were seen as sporting talent, or musical talent, or artistic talent and the like. And if you didn’t fit into one of those categories, then you weren’t talented. 

If you were sitting in front of me now, and I asked you, ‘what are you talented at?’ what would you say back to me? Or if I said, “what is your gift?”

0 comments on “13 years ago today…”

13 years ago today…

 

 

13 years ago, today, I gave birth for the first time. I became a mother. I became the guardian for a little human. A tiny (although he was anything but) little human.

When I was younger, if you asked me if I was having children, I said, flat out, every time..”NO”.

I didn’t dream about being a wife and mother.

I didn’t plan weddings, or baby names or imagine my life as a mother.

I didn’t have white picket fence dreams or soccer mum-ing or dance mum-ing.

I honestly didn’t have it on my cards.

I was going to have 3 dogs. Golden retrievers. And that would be my family.

0 comments on “When it hurts, can you let it hurt?”

When it hurts, can you let it hurt?

Untitled design-13

It’s January, and I like to reflect in January…and dream.

Today was more reflection that it was dreaming.

2014 through to 2017 were some of the roughest years I have ever experienced.

I was so deep in the rumble of pain for a lot of it, and yet, on the outside, you might not have even known.

That is the thing about survival patterns.

Patterns we repeat to survive.

I’m certainly not the first to have a rough childhood, and yet, on the other side of all the healing work I have done, I can see that it really wasn’t that bad.

But the thoughts I had about it, the habits I had developed because of it…that is what made it “bad”.

My survival patterns, the ones that I had developed to survive the abuse, the neglect, the rejection, the chaos, are exactly that. Patterns.

Ways of behaving.

And it wasn’t until I REALLY examined the patterns and expressed the TRUTH about what I felt, did things start to shift.

Properly.

Much to my pleasure, 2018 was a LOT less filled with pain. And yet, there was still some significant hurt in there. Probably more than I was willing to admit.

For the last 6 months, immersed deeply in Emotional Anatomy Practitionertraining, I was forced (not literally..more like ready) to face some of the really tough and challenging stories I still had running around in my head. And as I now know intimately, were showing up in my body as well.

Because here is the thing. What I think about repeatedly, show up in my body. What I believe, shows up in my body. What I choose…you guessed it, shows up in my body.

Honestly, I am still processing a lot of what showed up for me. And I am so chuffed that I have skills to do that.

To learn and grow. And as a result, allow my body to catch up.

But here is the point of all of this really.

When we hurt, we must let our bodies hurt.

When we are sad, we must allow our bodies to be sad.

When we feel betrayed, or disappointed or left out, or down….we must allow ourselves to feel it.

Emotions are not felt in the head. You don’t think emotions. You FEEL them.

And, when we don’t, they store. In our tissue. In our muscles. In our bones.

It’s like water that has been damed. And when we don’t release it, it spills over and floods everything else.

Honestly, I am still adjusting to this new way of being.

Of accepting my sensitivity and having to set some healthy boundaries.

I’m still adjusting to friendships breaking down and falling away.

But, I am committed to the work. For my body. For my mind.

AND I am committed to the work of Emotional Anatomy.

As of February, that will be my main focus.

To grow and build my Emotional Anatomy practice.

I hope you can attend a seminar or workshop about it this year. I’d so love to see you there.

I’d love for you to know more about your body and what it is communicating. And what it is expressing.

Really, I’d just love to see you.

Big love
Jen
xx

0 comments on “”

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1 comment on “I dropped the last few balls today…..”

I dropped the last few balls today…..

Lately I feel like I have been writing and talking a lot about this life busy thing.

And today, I was completely schooled by life. Again.

It’s the end of the school year, and as a result there are a bajillion school things to remember.

Presentation nights. Dance nights. Drama things. Class parties. Performances. Play dates for the kids. And all the usual things that go with being a parent of three young-is kids.

This week however, I really noticed the strain. The tension. The push and pull.