0 comments on “No wonder my brain hurst sometimes….”

No wonder my brain hurst sometimes….

Recently I have been thinking a bit. Which, for me isn’t uncommon, but yet, lately, I have been thinking even more deeply. More abstractly. And on reading it, may even seem more negatively.

I’ve been thinking about how not that long ago in human history, woman were literally killed, burnt at the stake, shames and vilified for their desire to help the humans, by using methods like intuition, herbs, plants, feeling.

I’ve been thinking how this vilification and shaming is most likely still a part of our DNA and those of us who are healing support folks, are most likely carrying some kind of witch wound.

0 comments on “Personally, I’m not a fan of being triggered.”

Personally, I’m not a fan of being triggered.

….but I understand trigger things. So, even though I am not a raving fan, I am maybe…kinda…a tiny bit…friends with triggers. 

Well, today anyway. 

And I’m not talking about gun triggers…although, if I sit with that a bit, actually gun triggers do trigger me a little. Guns most certainly do. 

In case you don’t know what we mean by trigger, which if you hang out in ‘spiritual’ circles or have done a bit of personal growth work or have seen a therapist..what we mean by trigger is basically, in the most simple of terms, something that that occurs outside of you, that sets off a series of feelings and emotions (usually unpleasant) with in you! It elicits a physical response and often isn’t even conscious, depending on the impact on the nervous system. 

Usually, these triggers are attached to memories of an unpleasant experience you have had previously or it simply could just trigger uncomfortable feelings. 

Have you ever been triggered? Or maybe the better question to ask is, “what recently has triggered you?” 

If you live in the world, filled with humans and fast moving things and access to the media and responsibilities and bills to pay, it is highly likely you have been triggered by something recently. 

Before we go on to the whole, ‘well, what do we do when we are triggered’, lets  take a big breath together and know, that it is human to experience these uncomfortable feelings that come with triggers. So please, allow your body to relax and know that there is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken or bad. Exhale. 

Triggers are SO personal. Some people are triggered by a song, or a scent or the mere sight of an animal. 

Some are triggered by a place, or a sound or a memory. 

Some are triggered by a ‘type’ of person, or a specific person, or an accent or a the smell of curry (or in my case Midory).

Some are triggered at the mere mention of the word trigger. 

It’s deeply personal! 

It’s not fair to judge ourselves by our triggers. Instead, it is our job to pay attention to them and get curious about them. And it certainly is not fair to judge anyone else either! 

A while back, during a session with my therapist (yes, I have a therapist….and a mentor coach, and a doctor and a naturopath..because…it takes a tribe people), we did some work that lets just say, triggered the f*ck out of me. 

I left the session saying I was never going back. I left there believing that she was unprofessional, that she had overstepped my boundaries and should know better and was out of line and…god, I am sure there was a whole lot of other things I thought. 

I was pissed.

It triggered a sense of discomfort so big for my nervous system, that I needed to run. And in order to run, I had to make her a threat. 

I’ve been doing this human work now for a good while, and perhaps somewhere in me, is the expectation that I am not going to get triggered. That I am bulletproof. That I am above all of that. 

Oh pft! 

Nope. 

Human here. 

BUT, given I have been doing this for a good while, what I am able to do, is recalibrate pretty quickly…mostly! 

We’re interested in the how part right? 

Well, can I first say, that there is no RIGHT way to deal with the human condition. 

There is no ONE way to reach peace and calm. Just as there are a variety of foods that are available to people to serve different tastes and desires, same is said for ways to support uncomfortable feelings. 

What I can say though, in both research and practice there are a few tools that, when applied (and this is the kicker….to apply them), we can reach a new level of understanding. 

Have you ever been having a dream, so lovely and delightful, that when you unexpectedly are woken from it, you get pissed off? 

What I have come to see, is that when we get triggered, it is a similar response. Triggers my love, come to wake us up! 

To wake us up from where we are asleep to our true desires. Asleep to the illusion that we have it all sorted. Wake us up from the BS stories that we carry around about ourselves or about others.

And ultimately, triggers come as our teachers. A call to wake up and make some new choices. 

To wake up and heal the old pain. 

Ok. Breath now. In and out. 

Did that trigger you? 

What do you mean that shop attendant who was a bitch and didn’t make eye contact, and shrugged at me is a teacher? 

What do you mean my sister who ignores all of my messages all of the time is my teacher? 

What do you mean? 

The simple truth is, when a trigger shows up, that is when the work begins. 

And by work, I don’t mean years of therapy. 

By work I mean, let’s get curious here! 

Okay, so let’s play with some ‘what do I do?’ options. 

This is actually best written down by the way. Something powerful happens in the transformation process when we write this stuff down. Try it and tell me if I am wrong! 

1. Tell the truth to yourself (or a trusted friend or counsellor) about how you feel. PLEASE don’t tell anyone who will listen…this just passes on the trigger energy and isn’t actually that helpful for anyone. 

2. Feel all the feelings that come with the trigger. All of them. Allow all the feelings to come. If you can, label them. Name them. Call them out. Write them down. For some of us folks who have shut down feelings for a good while, this can be a tricky experience and you may need support with this step. Again, a therapist or trauma informed coach can help here. 

3. Answer this next question, “What pattern in ME, is this trigger trying to wake ME up to?”


That third step, can be a doozy. 

Remember, the triggers are trying to wake us up. Because if we were awake, we wouldn’t get pissed off, because there would be no delicious dream and delusion we were lost in. 

It’s doozy right. 

AND it is a meditation. 

I did this very process when my therapist triggered me. 

And when the lights came on and I was FULLY wake and out of my pissed off woken from a dream state, I saw EXACTLY what was brought to me. I saw the EXACT pattern what I was trying to wake myself up to. 

Because really, we are all just bringing in experiences to wake ourselves up.

So next time you are triggered, celebrate hunny! You are waking up! 

Waking up to more of who you are. More of your magic. Your mystery. Your divine essence. 

Oh and pst….in case you need reminding, my work is all abut helping us come home to our truth. To line up who we are with what we do. To help you create the environment best for your thriving. To help you see blindspots. To share my journey and research and experience that might help you navigate this humaning adventure. Click HERE to head to the page with the offerings on it.

Well beauty, until we next meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing beautiful you! 

Big love
Jen
xxx
 

0 comments on “Is your inbox filled with unopened emails like mine?”

Is your inbox filled with unopened emails like mine?

Hi lovely, 

If you have been reading along with my emails recently, you would have seen that I was a big chuffed with my experience implementing the MarieKondo method in our home recently. 

We are 90% Kondo-ed. Just a couple of cupboards left. Which I am super looking forward to getting sorted. I’ve even got some excited children who are keen to help! 

*ching*

More recently, I have been in the mood to Kondo my email subscriptions. 

My inbox is so often filled with emails that I am never going to read. And usually it’s from online stores that I have purchased off, or when I have chosen to sign up to some thing for some reason like 5 years ago, and I never open the emails. But they still keep coming. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if l there was a system in the email world that if you didn’t open an email for like, for ever, it would automatically just unsubscribe! #isthereanappforthat #isthatagapinthemarket

Anyway, as I have been unsubscribing, I have been paying close attention to what emails I do open. Often, if not all the time. And I wanted to share them with you. Because, if you read my stuff, then it’s likely you would vibe with theirs as well. 

I personally want to read emails that I feel like add value to my life. Emails filled with content that is helpful to me, consistently. Content that makes me feel good after I have finished reading it. 

Oh and side note, I ALWAYS read the emails I get from you! 

These are my top 3 from email lists. 

So, it is of no surprise I am sure, that you know I am going to say Martha Beck.  She (or rather her team) sends out little inspiring emails most often, that are just a Martha quote. Then, from time to time, she will end an email, filled with some of the most heart expanding and often mind blowing stuff about humaning as well. Yeah, I love them.

Another email I am almost 100% likely to open are the ones that come from Mastin Kipp. They are chock filled with support for us humans. Especially in the areas of trauma, and fulfilling purpose and passion. Big fan! 

And finally, I love to receive emails from Marie Forleo. Filled with super charged entrepreneurial content. She’s funny, insightful and is a kick arse business woman. 

So, they are my top 3 email list subscription things. Now, I’d love to hear yours. Hit the reply button and lay them on me! 

Heres to sharing the love. 

Until next we meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing beautiful you. 

Big love
Jen
xxx

PS. Have you booked and Emotional Anatomy assessment yet? I have a 3 session package that is just the ducks nuts or bee’s knees. Or some other animals good thing! I’d love to see you for these life altering sessions.
Prices start at $180. Go here for more.

“I just wasn’t expecting my body to communicate so much truth. Actually, it was a bit spooky. I loved it. After the 3 sessions my path was totally ignited”. Ellen.H. 
0 comments on “Finding Your True Talents”

Finding Your True Talents

If you are like me, you grew up in a generation that didn’t really pay too much attention helping us focus on what our talents were. 

When I grew up, talent were seen as sporting talent, or musical talent, or artistic talent and the like. And if you didn’t fit into one of those categories, then you weren’t talented. 

If you were sitting in front of me now, and I asked you, ‘what are you talented at?’ what would you say back to me? Or if I said, “what is your gift?”

0 comments on “13 years ago today…”

13 years ago today…

 

 

13 years ago, today, I gave birth for the first time. I became a mother. I became the guardian for a little human. A tiny (although he was anything but) little human.

When I was younger, if you asked me if I was having children, I said, flat out, every time..”NO”.

I didn’t dream about being a wife and mother.

I didn’t plan weddings, or baby names or imagine my life as a mother.

I didn’t have white picket fence dreams or soccer mum-ing or dance mum-ing.

I honestly didn’t have it on my cards.

I was going to have 3 dogs. Golden retrievers. And that would be my family.

0 comments on “When it hurts, can you let it hurt?”

When it hurts, can you let it hurt?

Untitled design-13

It’s January, and I like to reflect in January…and dream.

Today was more reflection that it was dreaming.

2014 through to 2017 were some of the roughest years I have ever experienced.

I was so deep in the rumble of pain for a lot of it, and yet, on the outside, you might not have even known.

That is the thing about survival patterns.

Patterns we repeat to survive.

I’m certainly not the first to have a rough childhood, and yet, on the other side of all the healing work I have done, I can see that it really wasn’t that bad.

But the thoughts I had about it, the habits I had developed because of it…that is what made it “bad”.

My survival patterns, the ones that I had developed to survive the abuse, the neglect, the rejection, the chaos, are exactly that. Patterns.

Ways of behaving.

And it wasn’t until I REALLY examined the patterns and expressed the TRUTH about what I felt, did things start to shift.

Properly.

Much to my pleasure, 2018 was a LOT less filled with pain. And yet, there was still some significant hurt in there. Probably more than I was willing to admit.

For the last 6 months, immersed deeply in Emotional Anatomy Practitionertraining, I was forced (not literally..more like ready) to face some of the really tough and challenging stories I still had running around in my head. And as I now know intimately, were showing up in my body as well.

Because here is the thing. What I think about repeatedly, show up in my body. What I believe, shows up in my body. What I choose…you guessed it, shows up in my body.

Honestly, I am still processing a lot of what showed up for me. And I am so chuffed that I have skills to do that.

To learn and grow. And as a result, allow my body to catch up.

But here is the point of all of this really.

When we hurt, we must let our bodies hurt.

When we are sad, we must allow our bodies to be sad.

When we feel betrayed, or disappointed or left out, or down….we must allow ourselves to feel it.

Emotions are not felt in the head. You don’t think emotions. You FEEL them.

And, when we don’t, they store. In our tissue. In our muscles. In our bones.

It’s like water that has been damed. And when we don’t release it, it spills over and floods everything else.

Honestly, I am still adjusting to this new way of being.

Of accepting my sensitivity and having to set some healthy boundaries.

I’m still adjusting to friendships breaking down and falling away.

But, I am committed to the work. For my body. For my mind.

AND I am committed to the work of Emotional Anatomy.

As of February, that will be my main focus.

To grow and build my Emotional Anatomy practice.

I hope you can attend a seminar or workshop about it this year. I’d so love to see you there.

I’d love for you to know more about your body and what it is communicating. And what it is expressing.

Really, I’d just love to see you.

Big love
Jen
xx

0 comments on “”

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1 comment on “I dropped the last few balls today…..”

I dropped the last few balls today…..

Lately I feel like I have been writing and talking a lot about this life busy thing.

And today, I was completely schooled by life. Again.

It’s the end of the school year, and as a result there are a bajillion school things to remember.

Presentation nights. Dance nights. Drama things. Class parties. Performances. Play dates for the kids. And all the usual things that go with being a parent of three young-is kids.

This week however, I really noticed the strain. The tension. The push and pull.

0 comments on “All in a Mum Life”

All in a Mum Life

Mum life is FULL ON.

Today as I was removing nits from one of our childs hair I was wondering what on earth I was doing before I had children (sorry if you are now scratching your head). And thinking how lucky we are with having 3 kids to have not had more incidents of them (this is the second only time).

Recently, hubby and I have done some ‘re-structuring’ in our home environment since he took a job where the head office is a two and half plane trip away.

adult-annoyed-anxiety-133021.jpgIt means he is home A LOT and when he isn’t at home he is travelling to head office. It means that I have had to move some of my work off site, be flexible in my approach to working from home.

Which is still evolving.

It also means that he has taken a pay cut. A cut that will be worth it in the long run, but a cut none-the-less that effects the here and now.

It has meant that I have had to be more mindful of where our money goes and it has also brought up in me the possibility that I may need another income stream.

Those of you who know me, know that for the last 7 years I have been studying and researching and pottering and playing and sharing what I love.

Well, things are calling me to do more of the work I love, serve more people and get on with helping heal the stuff that folks are really struggling with.

But I am a mum first. Today alone I attended the school watch child #2 do one of the most brave things. Delivering a speech in front of the junior school, with no notes, about why she is a great leader.

I was gobsmacked. Captivated. And so incredibly proud. I felt like I was on a bit of a high. Like after listening to an inspirational speaker!

Then, later that afternoon I am de-lousing another child. Washing all the things. And this week is a slow week because the girls have finished up dancing.

This mum job is incredibly undervalued. I know I undervalued it.

Recently as I put together a new resume, it occurred to me how many skills I have accrued being a mother, that even as a nurse I wasn’t exposed to.

But on a resume, “mum” doesn’t look too shiny.

But seriously, what a load of shit.

Because I had kids, I have had to face some of THE most challenging situations. And because of them, well, I have had to GROW THE FUCK UP.

Because of them, I have had to learn about my feelings. About how I communicate. About loss. About love. I have learnt so much from them, and by being a parent.

Not to mention all the other skills I have mastered (like being an uber driver) since becoming a parent!

And seriously, without them I wouldn’t have found my way to the work I enjoy the most.

But while I get that off the ground (re-brand and the like for next year), I am contemplating taking another job to increase our family income.

I am feeling particularly vulnerable about this. And concerned about how to juggle all the things, given I have been able to manage my own schedule for the last few years.

I’m telling you all this, because I want you to see behind the scenes. I want you to know that living a passionate and purpose driven life is not all rainbows and unicorns. It isn’t all ‘follow your dreams and it will all work out miraculously’.

Following your dreams is going to have so many obstacles. Being mum has it’s obstacles. Just getting through the day has it’s obstacles!

This is but the human experience! How exciting right??

I’m in it for the long game.

I have to ask for support when I need it.

I have to be kind to myself.

I have to live in accordance with what is most important to me.

I have to choose what is right for me.

I wonder what I will learn.

I wonder who I will meet.

I wonder where it will take me.

If you have a dream or an unrelenting passion that wont seem to stop pestering, please follow it. It isn’t a straight line. It is an up and down and round and around ride. But it is an adventure worth taking.

Until next we meet, keep showing up, keep being brave, keep sharing beautiful you.

Jen
xx

P.s I am posting this in between picking one of the kids up from dance tuition, dropping another one at karate and picking the other one up from karate and dropping the other one off then to pick them up again!

All in a mum life!

P.P.S

There are still some spaces for the upcoming BUSY MUMMA MINI FOREST RETREAT. I’d love to share the space with people who get what it feels like to be all the things, seemingly all of the time. We’re going to get rid of some bullshit stories, and get in touch with our soul mumma who might have been shoved to the side while we are busy being busy mumma. GO HERE if you’d like to come along.

0 comments on “I Wasn’t Ready for the Flood! Well, That’s Not True…”

I Wasn’t Ready for the Flood! Well, That’s Not True…

It’s September! Spring has sprung! Are you feeling the spring clean vibe?

I’ve been cleaning out a lot of old stuff. Some of it kind of forced, after I flooded our house last week. I left the tap on in the laundry! With the plug in! I mean! Come on!

I intended to soak the stuff my daughter has spewed on the night before, after she was sick from a coughing fit. She has pneumonia! She’s such a little trooper though. Resting when she needs it. And moving when she feels it.

I was also intending to throw in the shirt that our puppy had shit on that morning. Yep. That was a fun little adventure.

Anyway, I threw them in the sink with the plug in and the tap running. I went out to hang out the washing quickly then turn the tap off. It’s a big sink so I knew it would take a while.

I’m easily distracted. Ask anyone who knows me. “Oh, what is that shiny object over there…must go and investigate”. “Oh, someone needs help, yep, I’m there”.

Well, this morning, I was just about finished having out the washing and I got distracted by the dog eating my tree and went to take the branch out of his mouth. That took me down the other end of the house. While there, my eldest daughter asked me to help her with a creative project. Oooo, creative project. You need help! Ah yeah! Okay!

All the while the tap still running.

We have a reasonably large house, and the laundry is down the other end of the house. So I can’t hear anything from the main part of the house.

For about an hour and a half, the tap ran. Full tilt. And ran, and ran and ran!

Just before school pick up time, I remembered I had to hang out our washed doona cover that was in the washing machine. Thought I’d better just rip down and hang that out before heading off to get our son.

As I walked down the hall, I heard trickling water, that didn’t sound like the washing machine! From there, everything is a little bit of a slow motion blur!

Although, in surround sound, I heard it under foot! It was loud!

Holy shit!

It was under the floorboards, and with each step was squelching up between the boards! Bubbling, swooshing. Holy shit!

It had gone into the kids rooms, soaked the carpets, ran into the storage cupboards, and into the kids bathroom…..it was all epically wet!

I pulled out all of the towels that we own and enlisted the help of the kids to mop it all up. Walk up and down the length of the affected area encouraging the squelchy water to come out.

A few days on, and the carpet is dried (thank you for not being humid mother nature) and the floor boards…well, time will tell!

I’m not just telling you this story just because it is funny and could even be a little dramatic. As much as it is. And really, this story would be enough. But the thing about stories, is for me, there is always something to learn. For me. For us.

So, heres the real reason I am sharing this story. I’m telling you because last weekend I attended the intake weekend for the next course I am undertaking.

To say it was epic, is well, and understatement.

The course is Emotional Anatomy. And it is a fusion of all the things I love. Eastern philosophy, western science. Chakras, anatomy, Ayurveda. I was in my happy place. Although, because of some of the processes, you might not have seen that. I cried a bit! Ok, a lot. In front of all the people. More than I would have expected. Well, no. That isn’t true. I knew that I was there to explore some of the plugs! To see where I was blocked.

It felt like swell of emotion and I felt totally blindsided by it. Like, “where is this coming from?”. And I couldn’t even articulate what it was. It was just there. Bubbling over. It made me laugh. Literally. Laughing through the tears!

We have assignments to do and report back to our group via a facebook page. And I set the assignment for me to get some clarity about the waves of emotion. The spills of tears.

Nothing much had come to me. Even in my meditations!

Then, the day I had set to share the information, the floor floods!

Water everywhere!

Ha!

So what was the flood leading me to?

A few things actually. For me.

Firstly, when something happens that needs attention, emotional attention, how often am I distracted with some other thing. Something to do with the kids, or the family, or the dog or the…..name your distraction really.

And so, that emotion gets plugged up. I had some pretty deep plugs. But I knew that.

That stuff, it’s energy. Emotion is energy in motion right? So it is always moving. Until we unplug it.

During emotional anatomy, I was able to witness where I have stored emotion in my body. The blockages. And we have only just begun.

The water flooding reminded me that it is vital to allow the emotion to move. If I don’t it will store up and then when it has no where else to go, it will uncontrollably overflow.

It will go under the foundations, and find it’s way into other rooms as well. And so what once should have been confined to the sink, was now in the bedrooms, the bathrooms and the cupboards. Affecting things that really didnt need to be impacted.

So, it kind of makes sense to me, that when we have emotional experiences but can’t really lock it on to a specific event, or thing, it is probably because we have had it plugged up for so long and now the emotion is showing up in other rooms.

What do we do?

Stop the tap. Pull the plug. And get cleaning up!

We get radically honest about how we feel. All the time. And we find a healthy way for us to move it. But it isn’t with the head. There has to be a physical element to it. Writing. Running. Yoga. Body work. Massage. Scream, cry, move.

But no shutting down. Or if you are a massive shutter-downer like me, then shutting down a little less. Or if you can’t do that, just noticing you are shutting down changes the energy! Shutting down is putting the plug in.

So, if you are going through something right now, and you feel like it is too big and overwhelming, oh how I know that space. It can feel so scary that you wonder how you will manage. I know you want it to go away. I know you wish it wasn’t happening. I know you are waving your fist at the universe, shouting “come on, what the hell”…..

Allow the feelings to be there.

Scared? I bet you are. So, lets allow it. Angry? You have every right to be. Allow it. Sad? Hell yes human! Allow it. Excited? Damn straight! Allow it. Energised? Bring it! Allow it!

Allow it all.
It will take you to places you never expected. And while it might seem so strange and even makes no sense…allow it sweet one.

I use writing to transform a lot of my energy. I also use music and shaking my arms. Like the floppy floppy scarecrow.

But I find the biggest help for me is to speak to someone who I feel completely safe with, who isn’t scared of my emotions. Who doesn’t judge their own emotions. And doesn’t judge mine. Who doesn’t need to fix it. Who can just help me be in the emotion. Ironically, it is one of my super powers to be in it with others…mostly!! I make a living out of it! Funny how that works really!

We teach what we most need to learn.

Until next we meet, keep being brave. Keep showing up. Keep sharing beautiful you.
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