0 comments on “This has taken me FOREVER to ‘get’….”

This has taken me FOREVER to ‘get’….

As I know you know, I have studied a gazillion forms of ‘helping’ modalities. 

And the wisdom I have gained in both the learning of the stuff and implementation of the things is, well, difficult to measure. 

But recently I noticed this little blind spot. Well, in working with my mentor we found our way to it (the beauty of support I tell you). 

This blind spot was around not wanting to replicate or ‘steal’ the work of any of my teachers before me. 

0 comments on “I told you I started rowing….”

I told you I started rowing….

If you have been reading along with my stuff, you would know that I have started rowing as a way to move my body and my mind. If you haven’t you can catch up here

And holy cow. It has NOT been what I was expecting. And yet it is EXACTLY what my soul was calling for. 

You see, at my age, it’s really easy to just keep doing the same stuff that I have always done. 

Same routines, same friends, same exercise, same work, same, same, same.

I could. I mean, no one would argue with me if I said everything I was doing was soul nourishing. 

0 comments on “Let’s Talk About Fear…”

Let’s Talk About Fear…

Can we talk about FEAR for a second?

Most of us, if we could, would wave a magic wand and banish fear from our human experience. 

Feeling afraid is so uncomfortable. 

But feeling fear is vital for humans. 

It is how we survive. 

If a man or woman were to walk into my house now with a knife and start threatening me and I had no fear, and don’t act, it’s likely I am going to get stabbed. *Or not, but I am not really willing to give that experiment a go*

0 comments on “This is a massive love/hate for me…”

This is a massive love/hate for me…

As you know, I work with women who are smart, educated, big hearted and want to make an impact in a positive way in the world. 

I love it. 

I’ve just gotten off ZOOM after a session with my coach/mentor. 

I love it…..and I hate it. 

I love it because I get to see blind spots, learn more about myself, feel supported, know someone is on my team and get to explore the truth of stuff. 

But I hate it because it brings to the surface a whole lot of uncomfortable feelings. It means I have to action that might trigger fear and self judgement or being rejected. Urgh. Yuk!

And humans (and I am very human) tend to not like discomfort.

Hence why we have problems with over half the western world being overweight by numbing out with food. Why alcohol is consumed to intoxicating amounts frequently. Why people gossip. Why we spend too much time on social media. Why we isolate ourselves. 

And I hate feeling uncomfortable. I do. 

We are not fans of discomfort, so I know I am not the only one. 

And yet, it is part of being human. 

The more I honour discomfort as being just a part of humaning, the more brave I am noticing I become. 

The more I walk through it instead of avoiding it, the more empowered I feel. 

The more I accept that part of humaning is to be supported, the more powerful I feel. 

I use the word AND a lot on my coaching sessions….and in my life! 

I feel so uncomfortable and afraid of the outcome AND I am willing to be supported to move through it. 

I don’t like confrontation or contributing to the discomfort of others AND I am committed to speaking my truth. 

I want to hide away from the world at times AND I want to make a massive impact. 

I don’t enjoy the feelings of having to confront my unsupportive beliefs AND I love the freedom of clarity. 

I hate working with a coach AND I love it. 

We are allowed to experience a full range of emotions, and feelings. We are human. 

But we are not meant to do it alone. 

Things in my life really began to change once I accepted that even though I know a shit tonne and have qualifications in a variety of areas, UNTIL I was willing to be seen and heard and supported, things wouldn’t really gain momentum. 

I am committed to be supported. 

I have to be, because my mission in the world is to support. 

And I can’t do what I am not willing to receive! 

Is there an area in your life you are loving and hating right now? 

Is there an area you are not willing to receive in? 

How are you at accepting support? 

If you want to make some changes, you have to feel some discomfort AND you will be okay. 

We got you

Until next we meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing imperfect you.

Big love
Jen
xxx

PS. I offer 3, 4 and 6 month support packages. These are a great gateway to group mentor support too. All the deets are in the ‘offerings’ link. xx

0 comments on “I don’t think I’ve ever told you…”

I don’t think I’ve ever told you…

I was chatting with another Humanary recently about how we take for granted sometimes that people just ‘know’ what we offer in terms of our services. 

During that chat, it occurred to me that I hadn’t really shared with you all, what it actually means to work with me. 

So I thought I’d spend a moment and just give you the low down. 

Before I ‘knew’ what life coaching was, I had never had a therapy session or a coaching session or had experienced personal mentoring and yet, I had all kinds of ideas about what it must be. 

I imagined that it would be sitting in a room and talking about stuff and then I’d have a few ah-ha moments and then I’d leave and go back in a month or so and do pretty much the same.

Humanary Life Coaching is not like that. 

It’s really more like a couple of folks who off on an adventure. Like two curious scientists or investigators, searching though and looking for clues together and celebrating when we find some treasures that might have been hidden under a rock, or behind a tree. 

While it is hard to say exactly what happens once you engage me as your Humanary Life Coach, what you can expect is that you will be supported to: 

  • find your natural gifts and talents (often they are not what you think either)
  • speak and be deeply heard
  • pay attention to the clues that life is giving you and how to interpret them
  • identify and uproot the weeds of ongoing inhibition so that you can take inspired action
  • discover tools to help deal with practical life obstacles i.e relationship problems, boundary setting, health complaints, parenting decisions
  • uncover all kinds of wonderful hidden insights about you!!

Specifically, here are some things that you definitely can expect. 

Before we work together, we have a 30 minute ‘see if we vibe’ session, it’s free and is done over the ZOOM platform (like skype). I’ll do a bit of talkie talk about me, ask you a few questions and you will do some talkie talk and then I determine whether I can support you and you determine whether you want to work with me. 

If you decide I might be able to help you find alignment with who you are and what you are here to do on the planet, then you decide what package best suits you.

It might be a 3 month, 4 months or 6 month package depending on what level of support you feel is appropriate. All of them have their own special juice and you feel into what tastes best for you. 

Once that is sorted, I send you out some highly informative self reflection activities, intention exploration and personality quizzes for you to complete.

After they have been submitted, we schedule a time to have our first face to face session (90 minutes). Again, this is done via ZOOM which offers the flexibility of being able to connect any where in the world. 

At the beginning of all our sessions we do a brief grounding meditation, and then I will ask a few questions to which you ideally respond, and I will listen deeply.

I might ask a few more clarifying questions to help us find blind spots and patterns that are getting in the way of you getting the results you want. 

I might give some bio-psycho-social education, or connect you with a resource to support where you are at. I might share a story or an example of someone who has overcome what you are dealing with.  

Together during the session we will come up with some inspired (and sometimes uncomfortable) action steps based on what shows up in each session, to help you take steps toward what it is you came here to do. 

Each week I review your actions and send an email with resources for support and or some clarity on what is showing up and how to navigate potential and actual obstacles.

If you get stuck, you email me. If something comes up, you email me. If you have a win, you email me. I’m right there all the way along. 

If you are so frustrated with your inability to get momentum and or keep momentum, I can help you see what is in the way, and get you back on track again. 

If you are sick of trying to work it all out on your own, I got you. 

If you are doing all the things and still feel like you are defeated, I’m right here. 

Is it going to be rainbows and unicorns? Nope. 

Is it going to be like a theme park… (well, there are roller coasters…so maybe)?

Is it going to be filled with ah-ha’s and lightbulbs and opportunities to break patterns that aren’t vibing with you anymore.

Hell yeah! 

Click on the offerings button to find out more. xx


Big love
Jen
xxx

0 comments on “What’s Your Zone of Genius?”

What’s Your Zone of Genius?

Upper limit stuff and Zone of Genius. 

Recently I asked in a group I run online, if anyone had heard of the ZONE OF GENIUS concept. And it reminded me that there is quite a lot of juice in the book that I learnt this concept from. 

The idea of the Zone of Genius is talked about quite a lot in the book I’m referring to. The book, The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix is predominately about what he calls, the Upper Limit Problem. 

The ULP in the simplest description goes like this.

Things are going well, you are moving in the direction of your ideal life and then you hit a level of satisfaction that you wont allow yourself to exceed. Like a set point at which we can allow ourselves to experience ease and joy. 

Humans, over a millennia have experienced pain and struggle. Humans are hardwired for it, and we have lived it generation after generation. So, it’s in our DNA. 

Humans know really well how to feel bad. They know well how to feel depressed and anxious and worried and afraid. It is only relatively recent in our history that we are actually encouraged to feel good, and love ourselves and go after what our heart desires. Previously we were just trying to not get killed by some form of lethal pathogen or war. 

It’s new to our nervous systems to allow ourselves to feel good..consistently. 

A few years back I went to see Brene Brown in Sydney, give a presentation on living brave. 

If you haven’t yet heard of Brene, well, it’s time you did. Just google her. It’s all there. 

She’s an incredible story teller and told this story about a movie scene that most of us are deeply familiar with. 

Picture a car filled with a young family, all packed up on their way to visit their family at Christmas time. The family are singing along with the music coming from the speakers. Christmas carols about joy and merry things. 

Everyone is smiling. The scenery is bright and moving quickly out the widow view. 

The camera pans away from the car. And what happens next….?? 

Where did your mind go? 

I tried not to let my mind go to the crash scene, I wanted my mind to go to the next scene where they arrive at their family home. 

But it didn’t. How about you?

We are not entirely to blame for this though. Our culture is bombarded with images of tragedy. We are constantly reminded not to get ‘too happy’ because something will go wrong and we will be worse off than when we started. This in a sense is upper limiting. 

To me, an upper limit problem is very similar to what Brene calls, forbidding joy. 

Another example that has been used might help illustrate this a little more. 

You know when you go and check on the kids at bed time, besides saying, “thank god they are asleep” there are moments where you look at their little innocent faces and your heart melts and you feel so incredibly lucky to have them. And then, moments later you start wondering what you did so good to be blessed with healthy children and then think to yourself, “don’t get too happy, this could change at any moment. Temper this joyful feeling”. 

Consider how you have learnt to be in the world. Consider the knocks you have encountered, the let downs and struggles. It can feel tiring. And anything BUT joyful. 

In The Big Leap, Gay takes us on a journey TO our zone of genius using the navigation of our upper limit problem. 

So what is the zone of genius? Really, it is just another way of describing your purpose or your personal passion. 

It is a discovery process, one that requires us to pay deep attention to our lives. Our selves. And discovering our zone of genius is life’s big leap. 

Gay describes most of us as having 4 zones that we can choose to operate from. 

  1. Zone of Incompetence.
  2. Zone of Competence
  3. Zone of excellence
  4. Zone of Genius
     

1. Zone of Incompetence

This is where we are engaging in things that we have very little understanding of and or are not skilled at. Naturally, we all experience this when we are embarking on mastering anything. 

2. Zone of Competence

This is the zone where you are doing what you are efficient at, may get some positive feedback for and also notice that there are plenty of other people that are competent and efficient at these skills as well. 

3. Zone of Excellence

You are doing something that you are extremely skilled at. This is where there has been a lot of practice and over time, develops into a significant skill level. 

It makes good logical sense to be in that zone but there is a lack of natural flow and ease. It can feel tiresome and requires a great deal of ‘push’ to keep doing the tasks that fall into the excellence zone.

In the zone of excellence, we can experience a sense of dullness and sluggishness. Sure, we can do all the things, and do them well and even earn a lot of money for these things, but there is a lacking of vibrancy and lightless that we experience in our zone of genius.

It is likely that people will give us positive feedback in this zone, and reaffirm how clever we are. But something doesn’t feel light about it. Doesn’t feel completely connected. It is the most difficult zone to move away from, because of the rewards that exist here.

4. Zone of Genius. 

In this zone you capitalise on your natural abilities and skills that are innate and not learned. This is the state when we find ourselves in constant flow and ease and effortless engagement with whatever we are doing. We find an abundance of inspiration and come up with ideas that are fulfilling and unique to us. It is here we find joy and connection to our gifts. 

Many of us, through making ‘the right’ decisions, have found ourselves in our zone of excellence. This is where we chose to learn skills and practice those skills to mastery. But the missing piece is that there is exactly that…a missing piece. It doesn’t feel effortless. 

Discovering our zone of genius is life big leap. And the key word here is ‘discovering’. Most of us want to just have a neon sign and say ‘this is it’ and for some people, it is like this. But it is rare. Like a supermodel, they are a very rare find. And comparing ourselves to a supermodel, when we clearly are not, is not good for our self worth, and also, doesn’t really make a lot of sense. It is either in our DNA or it isn’t. 

If you are feeling dull and sluggish most days, it might be that you are in your zone of excellence. It may be that you have fallen into the ‘hopping on the spot’ and not the ‘tiny little leaps’. Little leaps that might look a little like an insect jumping from one leaf to the next. It’s risky, but the leap is worth it for what might be ahead.

The Upper Limit Problem is raised as we raise our game. The bar continually raises as we do more work. 

The better we get, the better we want to be. Part of us wants to be in the zone of genius and yet, at the same time, we are tied down to forces around us. The people around us want us to stay in the zone of excellence because we are familiar to them there and we are reliable there. 

If you were asked to answer this, “If it wasn’t for ________________, I could be doing what I really want to be doing”….how would you respond. This is where truth telling gets real and we get to see some of our upper limit problems. 

The short cut, is that these things are all symptoms of not taking the leap to the zone of genius. 

If outside influences like money and children and partners and family were not a problem, what would you really love to be doing with your days?

Most of us have a well crafted and well justified story about why they can’t take a leap. “I can’t possibly find the time to…..” or “I have a bunch of kids that need my attention so I can’t….” or “ I can’t possibly do what I want to because I won’t get paid well enough for it”.

Underneath all of the fears really, is if I choose to do what I want, I will fail. “What if I open up to my true genius and find that it isn’t good enough”? 

Better to keep the genie in the bottle than to risk finding out it isn’t good enough. 

That way, we don’t have to discover that we may not actually have a zone of genius. 

Unless we are really lucky or totally enlightened, you are likely to hear those nattering and nagging stories within you. They are part of the deal. No use trying to talk ourselves out of them. Where would they go anyway? 

We just acknowledge them, wave at them or give them a high five and let them know that we are aware of them and then carry on learning to live in the zone of genius. 

Genius Questions 

  1. What do you love to do? You love it so much that you can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored or distracted. 
  2. What work do you do that doesn’t feel like work? You can do it all day long and you don’t get tired, in fact you end up feeling energised. 
  3. In your work, what produces the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction to the amount of time spent? Even if you do this for ten seconds or for a few minutes, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value. 
  4. What is your unique ability? There is a special skill I am gifted with. This unique ability, truly realised and put to work, can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve. 
  5. I am at my best when______
  6. When I am at my best, the thing I am doing is _______
  7. When I am doing that thing, the thing I love most is _______

These can be REALLY tough to ask yourself, but if you can deal with the discomfort on the other side is clarity. 

And it’s a process. It is a process. And life is a process. An adventure. 

Let me remind you that you haven’t been on the earth in this body, so don’t be an arsehole to yourself while you adventure. 

As always, I am here to support you in your humaning adventure. It’s my genius. 

Big love
Jen
xxx

0 comments on “This is not where I thought I would end up!”

This is not where I thought I would end up!

A few months back, I started rowing. As a sport. As a way to move my body.

I found my way to rowing really, out of frustration.

I was frustrated with all the ‘old’ ways of moving my body.

In a flippent comment with my mentor, I mentioned that I was a bit frustrated with my attempts at consistent exercise.

When he asked a few more curious questions, it became pretty clear why.

I am a connector energy, and a human that works best in teams. That is why most of my energy in my business is spent in teaching and coaching teams.

And yet, most of the movement activities I was doing, I was doing solo. Without interaction. Even if I was part of a group, there was little engagement and interaction.

So I was set the task to locate 5 team activities in my area that I could explore.

Nothing really was grabbing me as a solid yes.

Netball..yeah, I could.

Basketball, I suppose.

Hockey, UM NO.

Our girls do karate 3 times a week in a place called the Boatshed. As you can imagine by the name, it is on the water.

18 trips a week, to and from this location.

One evening, just on dusk, as I sat admiring the lake that it sits on, it hit me like a cardiac compression to my chest.

I had noticed numerous times bunches of people coming in and out of the water in an array of boats.

Some rowing in single boats, and some in teams!

“Holy, shit. It’s right under my nose..it’s rowing”.

It is hard you guys. It is so hard. It is challenging me in SO many ways. And I love it and I hate it.

I have wanted to quit.

I have blisters on my fingers and on my bum (yes that is a thing too).

I get frustrated that I can’t ‘get it’.

I get so frustrated because I want to be a fricking expert already!

I have fallen out of the boat in the middle of the lake (for real).

I have cried after sessions.

I have hated it, and I have loved it.

And mostly, I love it.

Learning anything now is hella challenging.

Growth is epically challenging.

And I am committed to my growth. I am committed to showing up, and learning and applying.

I am committed to the team. To my body. To new adventures. And to the things I love.

I am committed to being reminded what it feels like to be out of my comfort zone. Because I can’t expect any of the people I work with to get out of their comfort zones, if I am not willing to.

I do love it. Growth stuff.

And just because I love it, does not mean it is going to be easy! In fact, it just won’t be!

Learning out of a book, or from someone talking in front of you is easy y’all.

But applying it, is tough.

It is in the application you will grow.

It is in the showing up, prepared to do it imperfectly, prepared to get it wrong, open to looking like a doofus…that is where we grow!

You may have watched all the youtube clips, read all the books, listened to all the experts, read all the blogs, but UNTIL you actually get in that boat, all you are an expert in is learning.

You may have been to university, you may have read all the books, you may have done all the courses, but until you get into that arena, it is all theory.

Some people, like me, work best in a team. And when they are not connected, tend to become isolated and immobilised.

They are my people. I know them. Because I am them.

If you are feeling stuck doing all the things alone, but because you are smart and capable (you probably have degrees to show it) think that you ‘should’ be able to do it alone, I got you.

You are my people.

My work is about helping you connect, so you can propel.

We move faster together.

I got you.

For connection coaching, come have a chat for one of the ‘see if we vibe sessions’. It’s 30 minutes and it’s free.

Until next time, be brave, keep showing up and keep sharing imperfect you.

0 comments on “It’s so hard to ask for help..”

It’s so hard to ask for help..


🍂 I’ve been a ‘helper human’ for most of my life, and so it’s not a surprise that I ended up in all of my professional capacities as a helper. *insert Registered Nurse, Community Corrections Officer, Outdoor Educator, Life Coach*

So, I come in contact with a lot of humans that want support and help. 

And over the years, I have noticed that there are people who seem to be able to receive support and as a result, they go from crawling through the day, to getting traction and eventually flying. 

I was not one of these people. 

I was the person who was doing all the things, all on my own, by myself and stubbornly ‘dealing with it’. 

I was the helper, and I didn’t want to be helped. 

It wasn’t until my life got to a place where there was two roads for me to go down. 

Ask for help or dissolve into a puddle of nothingness and endless suffering. 

I was educated in helping with post graduate degree’s and all. I thought I ‘knew all the things’. And yet, all the things weren’t f*cking helping. 

When finally, finally…..I made a call to make an appointment with a fellow helper person. And while my life did not change radically initially, it was the absolute catalyst for taking me to where I am now. 

I get to help the humans. 

And my next adventure which I am SUPER excited about is to help the helper humans. 

Helper humans, or Humanaries as I like to call them. They are what the planet needs right now. 

If you feel like you are on this planet to help, but are feeling burnt out, or unsure of how to help or overwhelmed with all the help that is needed, I know EXACTLY how that feels. 

If you are a helper that is having difficulty getting your message to the people that need help…I hear you. 

If you feel like you are too busy on all the things that just keep life moving but feel the call to do ‘something else’ that might feed your soul, I get it. 

And I can help. 

🍂 If you aren’t already on my email list where I share SO MUCH HELPER stuff, then jump on it. Of course, it’s free. And funny. And I share some serious life stuff in there. http://eepurl.com/cr8SbH

🍂 If you want one on one support, you can take advantage of my free 30 minute “see if we vibe” session and see if I can actually help. And if I can’t, I can give you some signposts to other helper humans who might be able to. https://www.fresha.com/jen-lean-emotional-anatomy-practiton…

🍂 If you are at that point where you are ready to help more humans but know you need help to do that, then you could choose a coaching package that might suit you. https://linktr.ee/humaning_with_jen

In the meantime, if you want to take a turtle step and just touch something that might help in a gentle way, I recommend you get the book, “Steering by Starlight” by Martha Back.

Or if podcasts are more your thing, go check out The Mastin Kipp Podcast…it’s specifically for the helper humans. Humanaries. 

Until next we meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing beautiful you. 

xxxx

0 comments on “These people showed me freedom….”

These people showed me freedom….

Hello fellow Humanary. 

Every Wednesday, I check on my clients google drive entries. 

And I have gotta tell you, this week, I was feeling so ‘hallelujah baby’, that I literally had to share it. 

Most of my coaching is done on line, thanks to modern technology (didn’t think I would love it so much). And every Wednesday, I check in to google drive and see how folks are progressing with their ‘action taking’ steps. 

Holy shit you guys, this week, it dawned on me just how much my business and the work I offer has changed, AND the breakthroughs, and the ‘ah-ha’s…..and they are just mine.  

0 comments on “The real reason you are ‘giving up’!”

The real reason you are ‘giving up’!

Today, I have a bit to say, so we are going to get right to it! Grab a cup of tea and settle in. 

Let me ask you….what is Mastery

Mastery in the most simple terms is something that you know how to do SO well you could literally do it in your sleep. Well maybe not literally

Don’t you just love watching athletes at the olympics? It’s one of my fave things to watch. 

The speed of the runners, the hight of the high jumpers, the flips and twists by the gymnasts. I watch and I’m like….. “HOWWWWWW”?

They look effortless! 

They have this talent, and this way they do the things and they do stuff that just looks like it is no problem. It just looks easy! 

Have you seen people like this too?