Each week (ish) I receive a very brief email from the team at Martha Beck Wayfinding Life Coaching (definitely worth subscribing to).
This week, the ‘compass point’ read,
“Learn to choose what nourishes you, not what poisons you”.Martha Beck
Initially, when it’s read, it seems a bit like, “well duh, doesn’t it make sense that we’d choose what nourishes over what poisons”?
If I stop for a moment and close my eyes to visually scan a few of the rooms of my life, health, wealth, spirituality, relationships, friendships, parenting… and imagine I have a basket to place all the things in those rooms that I am choosing that nourish me…..a few of the rooms are pretty bare.
And if you think that nourish is only about food, you might want to expand that definition. I asked my old (literally) mate Merriam Webster and here’s what she said:
to promote the growth ofMerriam Webster
If then, I am not choosing what nourishes me, am I choosing what poisons me?
My go to line in pretty much all the work I do, both with myself, other practitioners and one on one clients is, “Is what I am saying and what I am doing matching up?”. And if it isn’t, that is poison.
If I am saying yes to things that my body really wants to say no to, that is poison.
If I step over my inner guidance system and go for the need to fit in and be liked, poison.
When I smack talk myself, no nourishment. Poison.
When I stand by and listen to someone else smack talk someone else without speaking up, poison.
When I go through all the places that I choose things against what nourishes me the temptation is to go into self beat up. Which of course is poison.
Self compassion, and speaking to myself in a way that is kind and says things like, “Well, that was a boo boo. Say sorry and get back to it hunny”. Or I could also say things like, “Far out that was a bit rough and felt totally out of integrity, but you caught yourself and you can do better next time. Well done for catching yourself”.
If I go back through the rooms of my life, holding my basket looking to fill it with all the things that nourish me in those rooms, I can find many things that nourish me. And things I have chosen to add to my life experience.
Being in nature nourishes me. Being with close friends and sharing all the truth and not the small talk, nourishes me. Creating safe spaces for deep listening nourishes me. Writing about things that matter to me, getting a minimum of 7 hours sleep, drinking celery juice in the morning, sharing experiences, spending time doing fun things with the family, snuggling with my puppy, having a cleaner to clean my house, being around like souls, talking about things that could help the humans, having a warm bath at least once a week, rowing, essential oils…..wow, I choose a lot of nourishment.
I didn’t used to though. On reflection, mostly because I didn’t really know what it felt like to choose nourishing. I mean what did that even mean? And who had even talked to me about choosing nourishing? And who in my life chose nourishing?
I was so out of connection with my true desires. I was trying so hard to control the world outside of me so I didn’t experience any triggering or discomfort.
But why is it so hard for us to sometimes choose to nourish? Why would we choose poison? Why would we choose the things that we know are not great for us? Well, I reckon it isn’t the complicated actually.
To choose to nourish ourselves means:
- that we will have to let people down
- we might have to make some changes to the way we live
- having to endure the discomfort of saying no
- we actually have to discover what nourishes us
- we will have to choose ourselves over other people
- giving up our ‘martyr’ title
- actually caring about ourselves
- being vulnerable (and in the brain to be vulnerable = death)
- making time for ourselves (god forbid)
- we might not ‘fit in’ anymore if we give up our poisons (think gossiping, drinking in excess, not following our true desires)
- might make us seem less interesting
- might be seen as being ‘too good’ or be ‘up yourself’ or at the worst ‘selfish’. GASP
The list could go on right? So yeah, it makes sense that we would choose poison over nourish.
At some point it seems, that if we consume poison for any great length of time, a few things happen.
- We get super sick and have to do a stock take of what we have been bringing into the rooms of our life. We will have to do a toxic assessment.
- Make some changes and attempt to move toward nourshment
- Do nothing
How is your nourish list looking? If we were to sit together and talk about all the nourishing choices you make, how long do you think the conversation last?
Learning. We are all learning, so don’t give yourself a hard time and trigger the inner arsehole.
Instead, speak to yourself super kindly. And if you do, there, you just chose nourish over poison!
If you actually would like to learn more about what nourishes you and what doesn’t, I invite you to sign up to do some personal growth work with me. I offer a bunch of packages that are designed to really help you realign with your true nature.
Head over here and if it feels nourishing, I’ll hear from you soon.
I send out emails each week with heaps of treasure hunting support too, so if you’d like to jump in an hear all the things that I don’t share anywhere else except in coaching sessions, I totally recommend it. You can sign up here.
Until next we meet, keep being brave, keep showing up and keep sharing beautiful you.
LEARN TO CHOOSE WHAT NOURISHES YOU, NOT WHAT POISONS YOU