It’s January, and I like to reflect in January…and dream.
Today was more reflection that it was dreaming.
2014 through to 2017 were some of the roughest years I have ever experienced.
I was so deep in the rumble of pain for a lot of it, and yet, on the outside, you might not have even known.
That is the thing about survival patterns.
Patterns we repeat to survive.
I’m certainly not the first to have a rough childhood, and yet, on the other side of all the healing work I have done, I can see that it really wasn’t that bad.
But the thoughts I had about it, the habits I had developed because of it…that is what made it “bad”.
My survival patterns, the ones that I had developed to survive the abuse, the neglect, the rejection, the chaos, are exactly that. Patterns.
Ways of behaving.
And it wasn’t until I REALLY examined the patterns and expressed the TRUTH about what I felt, did things start to shift.
Much to my pleasure, 2018 was a LOT less filled with pain. And yet, there was still some significant hurt in there. Probably more than I was willing to admit.
For the last 6 months, immersed deeply in Emotional Anatomy Practitionertraining, I was forced (not literally..more like ready) to face some of the really tough and challenging stories I still had running around in my head. And as I now know intimately, were showing up in my body as well.
Because here is the thing. What I think about repeatedly, show up in my body. What I believe, shows up in my body. What I choose…you guessed it, shows up in my body.
Honestly, I am still processing a lot of what showed up for me. And I am so chuffed that I have skills to do that.
To learn and grow. And as a result, allow my body to catch up.
But here is the point of all of this really.
When we hurt, we must let our bodies hurt.
When we are sad, we must allow our bodies to be sad.
When we feel betrayed, or disappointed or left out, or down….we must allow ourselves to feel it.
Emotions are not felt in the head. You don’t think emotions. You FEEL them.
And, when we don’t, they store. In our tissue. In our muscles. In our bones.
It’s like water that has been damed. And when we don’t release it, it spills over and floods everything else.
Honestly, I am still adjusting to this new way of being.
Of accepting my sensitivity and having to set some healthy boundaries.
I’m still adjusting to friendships breaking down and falling away.
But, I am committed to the work. For my body. For my mind.
AND I am committed to the work of Emotional Anatomy.
As of February, that will be my main focus.
To grow and build my Emotional Anatomy practice.
I hope you can attend a seminar or workshop about it this year. I’d so love to see you there.
I’d love for you to know more about your body and what it is communicating. And what it is expressing.
Really, I’d just love to see you.