It’s been over 2 weeks. I can’t remember the exact day I decided to have a rest from social media. I’ll know if I check my last FB update though. Ah, haha…there it is. The lure to return to the space.
I have really enjoyed this experiment..an experiment I wasn’t actually planning to participate in. But an experiment that I have liked. Dare I say loved.
I didn’t realise how much I used Facebook as a space where I would lose so much time. Lose so much energy. Lose so much..of myself.
But, if I am really honest, I knew this. And instead of acknowledging it and being truthful with myself, I made up all kinds of excuses to be on Facebook more than (in my own opinion) is healthy.
I told a story that I needed it for work. I told a story that I was bringing positive perspectives to the world, and the world needed it. I told a story that I might find out about a workshop, or an event that I wouldn’t know about if I was off it. I told a story that people relied on my for the facilitation of groups and pages..they needed it.
And while there is some truth in there, what is BS, is that I really didn’t need to be spending so much time there. It turns out what I really needed was some time away to really see how much of that is true, for me.
In terms of practicalities in the time I have been away, I have been SO much more TIME. I am completing things that usually take me so long to do. They usually take so long because I will bounce from one task to the next to the next and drop in and out of social media. So my productivity on things that are important and meaningful to me has gone up massively.
I’ve spent more time in nature, without the compulsion to get my phone out and take photos and upload those photos. I have let nature calm me instead of being in nature completely distracted with my phone.
I haven’t been talking to my kids over the top of my phone.
I haven’t been shutting my hubby out with social media.
I have finished a bunch of books that I had been wanting to get into but kept distracting myself by that bloody flashing light on my phone to say a notification had come in.
I’ve wanted to attend to my health a lot more.
I’ve been writing more, and more consistently.
I’m less self judgy.
I notice I am more attending to what I am really feeling throughout the day. Noticing the anxiety. Noticing the boredom. Noticing how quick I can move to fill the space…
I am someone who is easily distracted. I know that about myself. And so Facebook is like crack. Highly addictive. Highly numbing. Highly unhealthy. For me.
The ping of my phone or the little red number on my Facebook App to let me know someone has engaged with something that I might need to know about. It would play with me. Calling me to look. To make sure it was nothing ‘important’. Oh the freedom I feel since removing the app from my smart phone. No red number. No taunting me that I am missing something. Um, side note…smart phone? I am sure it is making me dumber!
Comparing myself to what others are doing and that feeling I am not doing enough…and the feeling I am missing out and not being enough…I noticed I was doing this a lot. Since my time away, I am feeling more confident, more committed to the direction that I know I want to head it, and a lot less self doubt and confusion.
My scattered mind…even that has reduced. I am so much more focussed and my anxiety and worry is like, not even there.
It’s funny, as I type, I wish I had have created a ‘proper’ experiment and measured all kinds of stuff to see if there has been an improvement.
Irrespective, I noticed a lot and have so enjoyed being a student to this teaching.
Now, the real issue, if social media is like a drug for me, then can I use it recreationally?
Well, I am going to see.
The next part of my experiment is that.
To see if I can log on twice a week to monitor events and marketing for events. I’m starting today.
I’m feeling a bit anxious about heading back into the space. I notice my mind is already making up stories about how it is going to hook me back in. How I will go into time warps again. That I will see just how much I have missed out on. And while all of that might be true, all that is real right now, is that I am sitting at a table and typing a bunch of words on this thing.
The rest of it, well, welcome to the next part of the experiment.
I’ll be logging on to Facebook, only on my computer every Tuesday and Friday. I’ll be allocating an hour for each log on..and I’ll even set a timer!
I am so interested to see how this next part of the experiment impacts me.
And, of course, you can be rest assured, I’ll be telling you all about it.
Until then, be brave, show up, try some stuff, fall over and get back up again!