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Oh Social Media. Now THIS is a Healthy Relationship.

Social media and I have formed a new relationship.

Prior to the last couple of months, we had a bit of a…contentious relationship. I felt like it was always interrupting me. Always wanting my attention. Needy. It would keep me engaged in mind numbing activity for ages. It was available all.the.time. I blamed social media for my tiredness, my frustration, my scattered mind.

The time that we have had a part, I have come to see that it was me who didn’t have very healthy boundaries in place. And it had nothing actually to do with social media. Surprise, surprise!

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I Knew I Knew. I Just Needed to Trust it…

The proof is in the pudding they say. Not even sure what that means. I just looked it up and it means that you can only judge the quality of something if you have tried or experienced it.

Now that we all understand the meaning of that (okay, so it is maybe just me who now understands it), I want to share the proof of following my intuition and asking for what I need.

Did you read about my loooonnnngg road to finally receive the first major treatment toward regaining my whole health? If you didn’t, it’s here.

It is the first step of many. Many I have already taken, and maybe this feels like a leap.

I am so excited to say, that that iron infusion I had because of my low ferritin…I have had AMAZING results.

Those periods where I felt like I was haemorrhaging…well, I am excited to say that my period began on Monday this week and 3 days later it was completely finished.

Whoopdy-do you may say. Mine are always like that, you may say.

Well, for me, since 2011 I have had 5 days of very heavy bleeding…at the very least!

On the fifth day of this last period, I was having a bath! Something I haven’t been able to do until about day 10 in 6 years!

Again, whooped-do, you may say.

This has been a very invasive and pervasive experience for me for so long. And to finally have a very un-invasive period is just, well, life changing for me! It has proven what I always knew to be true, but just couldn’t get anyone on my side to support me.

I am guttered that I had to experience this very easy to be fixed shit arse thing for so long, and I am guttered that anyone else may have had to experience the same thing.

For all those women who felt like they needed to have a hysterectomy, or an ablation or have a thing jammed into their uterus because of heavy periods…I am guttered.

This is more than just an iron infusion. This is the validation that I knew what I needed and it took me to truly back myself and not take no for an answer, that has restored the biggest power in me.

And while I am not suggesting that this could or will work of everyone, it is potentially life changing and I am going to be doing so much more research in this area and feel I am going to be speaking about this health game A LOT more.

So, step one is to alleviate the stress on my body because of this blood loss. Check. The next is to repair the adrenals and the thyroid that have been working overtime to compensate for the high degree of stress…in process. And then the next step is to share this stuff with as many women as I can speak to.

If you or someone you know is having a hard time with stress, or heavy periods, or slow metabolism…I would love to hear from you. I want to gather more information. I want to hear from the silent sufferers who feel like they have been overlooked, or have tried ‘everything’ and still feel like shit.

Women, lets talk, women to women. And talk about the real stuff that affects us. And lets see if we can use our collective wisdom to offer support and healing to a very exhausted segment of our population!

The body speaks to us so loudly at times and it is our conditioning and inability to really trust ourselves as not just ask, but demand that we are supported with what we need that keeps women feeling powerless and helpless.

It is a call to remember our own inner wisdom and not only listen, but trust it and follow it.

I write here as an advocate for us women trusting our inner guidance system and using our voice and our support networks to stand up and say, “NO, I know…..”

This inner guidance system I know I have shut down a lot through my life, and as of this time, I am committed to never doing it again….no matter!  

You know where I am. Love to hear from you!

Until we next meet, trust your inner guidance system.

Big love
Jen
xxx

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Sorry? You Want to Burn my Bits?

Today. Today was GAME.CHANGING! Completely! I got exactly what I needed.

Now, if you choose to settle in to read this (grab a cuppa something), know that there is some rant-age in here. There is a wee bit of discharging energy. A lot of frustration released. And I am owning and and speaking up anyway!

But right now….I am seriously having one of those OH MY FREAKING GOD moments.

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Song for You This Monday

You know I love me some vibes. And I just love sharing them!

Here are some tunes for your to savour for this Monday.

If you are feeling blah!

This is a reggae vibe. Thanks Michael Franti.
Written for you and me. Thanks Yuna!
Time to lift it up! Thanks Macklemore

If you feel swoonish and snuggly.

We can take the world…Thanks Johnnyswim.
Hold the lantern..Thanks India Bourne

If you feel like giving up

Mmmm, love me some of this…Thanks First Aid Kit
Anthem. YES!! Thanks Andra Day
Lift up. Thanks Andrea Faustini

When it is time to let go of those held back feelings (not for listening in public). 

Take it all in and let it all out. Thanks Olivia
And lay down and listen. Thanks Enya.
You didn’t..now you do. Thanks Andrea Faustini

If you would like a song just for you, just message me. I love gifting them. You just have to ask. That is the only condition…

Until next we meet, life is made up of energy. How are you using yours?

Big love
Jen
xx

 

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I Feel Like Having a Drink…

Tonight, I feel like a drink. Like proper feel like one.

It’s been 108 days.

Today, while talking to a friend, was the first time that I actually felt like a drink. And as I sit here now, I am distracted with the idea of a tall glass of wine sitting to the right of me. Red wine. 3/4 glass filled.

I used to write with a wine. I used to cook with a wine. I used to socialise with a wine. I used to look at the clock and think or even say out loud after a loud sigh, “is it too early for a drink”?

This was not that many days ago that I did that.

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Me too #metoo. Me too…..

For the most part, my relationship status with Facebook is set to “On a Break”. Yesterday I checked back in for my scheduled bi-weekly Facebook exploration. I set my timer for 30 minutes. I responded to the posts I had been tagged in, wrote a post or two, read a couple of saved articles from last week and checked on our Mother and Daughter Connection Day event, oh and posted on the same event page. That took like 7 minutes.

The rest of the time I just scrolled around.

I noticed a few things..

  1. I have awesome Facebook friends. I have such positive Facebook friends. SO many inspiring posts. SO many gorgeous pics of holidays. SO much damn awesomeness!
  2. I can use Facebook very time effectively if I focus!
  3. Oh and my god…I was blown away by the realness and rawness of #metoo that seemed to be all over social media. Completely saddened and completely touched.

This #metoo is both troubling and yet it feels like a collective exhale. Women who have been quiet in their shame because of a culture that says this kind of thing is ok are now finding their voices.

These women are bravely stepping forward and sharing their stories, their truths, their boundary violations.

This is not blaming men directly. We are all participating in the development of cultural norms. We are all responsible for how we choose to use the circumstances that life presents us.

And it seems for a very long time, women have brushed off ‘innocent flirtation’ and “Oh don’t be so sensitive, we’re just mucking around love” and “nice tits” and “wanna f*ck”?  and “how about it love”? and bum slaps and boob grabs and groping and interpreting “No” as “Ah, you’ll be screaming yes before you know it…” as just part of our culture.

I have heard things said like, “it’s natural for me to behave this way”. I have heard others say, “think yourself lucky you get any attention at all”.

I learnt pretty early on, that if you wanted to be loved by a man, you have to be sexual.

My first sexual experience, sadly, was with my step father (who at the time I was lead to believe was my biological father).

I was 9.

And despite all the therapy and self help and personal growth and work I have done around this, it still creeps me out. It still makes me feel nauseous and I just caught my face and body tight as I type this.

That set me up for a distorted view of what it meant to be loved by a man. That sexual attention was actually love. So, that is how I sought love.

I have more #metoo moments than I care to write about actually. And while I know that none of those moments were my fault, I have come to see that people will go to all kinds of lengths to feel love and belonging.

So I can see how confusing it is for men and for women. Wounded girls seeing attention from distorted and culturally wounded boys.

I grew up in a culture and clearly a family that didn’t talk about healthy boundaries. About body awareness and care. About self love and acceptance. About what it ok and what is not okay. I never heard anyone speaking to boys about respecting girls or it ever really being demonstrated how to honour a woman.

I wonder why we didn’t?

Or perhaps our culture was talking about it, I just didn’t hear it. I didn’t hear it because I was still in a shame closet.

Regardless, this #metoo movement if that is what it is called is an opportunity for us all to pause for a moment and feel a collective outpouring of years and years of suppression.

And for me personally, it is a massive reminder of the absolute necessary education I want to provide for all of our children.

To our girls who will become women, to honour and own their sexuality, their power and their femininity and to set very clear ‘this is okay and this is not okay’ settings. To stand with each other, woman with woman and not woman against woman.

To our son, who will become a man, to honour and respect his own sexuality. To understand the power of his physicality and to understand what it means to be a man.

This #metoo-ness has woken me up to the desperate need for us to be not just talking about all the stuff that it is to be human, but sharing our stories. And in sharing, have our stories listened to and be really heard and seen. To lift the dark veil of shame. And collectively, come together to offer a compassionate space for all our hearts to rest.

I am also reminded that there is SUCH power in those two little words. ME TOO. To simply know that we are not alone in this, that we are not the only ones, is a lifeline that I know I have griped to many a time on my life journey.

If this #metoo has triggered feelings of discomfort and other emotions you feel overwhelmed by, please reach out. Reach out. There are people waiting to listen.

 

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Tell Me To Put it Away!

I commented in one of my blogs recently about smart phones, maybe really making us dumb. So, I guess, the phones are still smart?

I’ve noticed this trend, and I know it is the ‘norm’ now, that when you go out to have a ‘catch up’ with a friend, there is a phone inevitably sitting on the table.

When did this start to be okay?

When did it start to be the norm that when you are sitting with a real human, having real human chats, that the phone needs to be up on the table? I know some lovers of dogs  and I am pretty sure that they don’t love their dog that much that they would let them sit on the table…

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Social Media Holiday. Results are in.

It’s been over 2 weeks. I can’t remember the exact day I decided to have a rest from social media. I’ll know if I check my last FB update though. Ah, haha…there it is. The lure to return to the space.

I have really enjoyed this experiment..an experiment I wasn’t actually planning to participate in. But an experiment that I have liked. Dare I say loved.

I didn’t realise how much I used Facebook as a space where I would lose so much time. Lose so much energy. Lose so much..of myself.

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Is Anger Ever Healthy?

I love positivity. I love staying positive. I do. AND I also love the exploration of all the other stuff.

I love all the dark emotions as well. Maybe because I have spent a lot of time with them over the years.

As I continue to explore and research energy and hurt and anger and frustration, I came across this juicy, juicy debate/discussion about anger and exploring whether it is actually force for good.