Is it just me, or is there something just so soul satisfying to be a part of a collective where you are surrounded by folks who ‘get you’? Who you share interests with? Share our challenges and our wins?

Recently, in a the Crazy Sexy You Facebook Group I am apart of,  one of the women posted on a thread, “I feel like something is changing in my life. I feel like I am losing friends, and the ones I have left, I am finding I don’t want to talk about the same old small talk stuff with them anymore. And actually, I am finding our interactions pretty boring. Is this normal and what can I do to make new friends”?

Now, some would say that is harsh right? Who gets bored with their friends?


But this is the thing with change and growth. Stuff that used to crank our tractor or shuffle our iPod just don’t have the same connection to us anymore. It can be like we outgrow our old ways, and with these old ways we outgrow the old connections too.

The folks in this group are awesome supporters. So there was no shortage of replies to help her out. Some people commented that she should join a meet up group, start attending a yoga class, join a gym….some pretty great suggestions poured out.

As soon as I read her post, I had this bolt come to me. Like I do with songs that want to go to people.

“Jen, find the Martha Beck “5 Symptoms of Dreamtime Progression”

Oh. Ok. Yep. On it.

Found it.

The Dreamtime Progression is “a period of growth where people have burned up a considerable number of limiting beliefs and get excited about their new found lightness”.

I found the exact thing I felt compelled to share with her.

In the comments under her post, I wrote:

Hey hun. I read this and completely felt you. And as I read, a passage from one of my  mentors came to me. This is what it says. “I’ve got no friends left,” says Alicia mournfully. “I used to spend all day on the phone. Now, none of my old friends call me much.”

“Do you ever call them?” I ask.

Alicia thinks for a while. “No,” she says. “There’s no one I want to call”.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” she says furrowing her brow. “They just don’t get me anymore. Honestly, I find them all kind of boring. I mean I love them to pieces, but…..”

After I posted this, my CSY friend commented, “Happy emoji, happy emoji, happy emoji..OMG. This is me! This is me! Is there more??

Oh yes my friend. There sure is.

Martha describes this phase as, “Entering the Empty Elevator“. Sounds a bit strange right?

It goes a bit like this. If an elevator opens, and it is crowded with people, you have to wait until everyone is out before it can take on a new load of folks, right?

“When you dissolve the false beliefs that once held you prisoner, people around you can’t stay connected with both the NEW YOU and the old patterns of behaviour. Without meaning for it to happen, you may find the many of your relationships simultaneously fall away, making space for new loved ones you haven’t yet encountered. The elevator is going up a level. For a little while you have to ride it alone, or nearly so”.

“Where can I get this”? my CSY friend asked.

And I told her, like I’m telling you, if there is no other book you read in this lifetime…if you really want to see your life as a completely connected and purposeful experience, do yourself a favour and get your hands on a copy of “STEERING BY STARLIGHT.”

But only for folks who are REALLY interested in fulfilling their destiny…no matter what!

In this life supporting book, you will be helped to set up an authentic and rewarding life.

Funny. Insightful. Chock filled with opportunities for clarity, Steering by Starlight is probably one of my most highly recommended reads.

She bought the book. She messaged me yesterday privately to say that of all the advice she received that day, mine was the one that has had the most impact so far.

So, if you are in Entering the empty elevator, know you are not along. Know that you are not the only one who has navigated this transition. Know that this is a symptom of your growth. The letting go of your old ways and inviting new ways. No judgment. No being better than, or being superior too. Just like a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, it has to shed it’s old skin and dissolve to create something new.

Right with you.

Oh and maybe get yourself a copy of Steering by Starlight.

Big love




Leave a Reply