Each Friday I have committed to sharing my Five Faves for Five Weeks.
Yes, it is kitchy, but this is Five Faves Friday. Week two!
This week, I am giving you my 5 reasons to share your story!
Believe me. Don’t believe me. Read my stuff. Don’t read my stuff.
But it matters to me to write. It matters to me to share my story. It matters to me that people know they are not alone.
You. Your story. It matters! It matters to me.
And people need to hear it!
I’ll tell you why!
I write pretty passionately about some topics.
I can get pretty ruffled by other topics and I speak my heart, thoughts, body on them.
I can be outspoken. Opinionated.
And I can be judged for it. As I can judge others.
Recently I received some unsolicited advice from someone I was sharing with about some mothering stuff. Being a mum. The role of parent.
This person, beautiful to the core, didn’t have children.
And her advice, was as the advice would have been before I had children. Except she said, “I know what you mean”.
And I smiled.
In all her excitement and desire to help, (which I really didn’t need or want) she blurted out a whole lot of stuff that, well, left me a little like….”Um, thanks for your thoughts on this” And as I walked away mumbled to myself, “Come talk to me after you have had children sweet one”.
I saw me as a younger version of myself. Desperate to help. Even when I wan’t asked for it. Fixers. Big hearted folks. People who care. We all do this.
God knows how much in my life I have done it. And what a gift she gave me.
This life thing.
Often as we are finding our way, we seek council. Support. Advice. And fuck I admire those brave enough to ask for it!
But we have to be mindful of who we seek for advice.
I wouldn’t be going to a mechanic to get advice on my Spotify account usage.
I wouldn’t be going to a swim instructor if I wanted to write a book.
Well, I might if that was their passion, so never say never I suppose.
Elizabeth lead with, “Can have your advice on something?” To which Ram Dass replies, “Only if it about being a man, who has never married and isn’t attached to material things. Much beyond that, I don’t know. I can only speak of what I have experienced”.
Some boom humility there.
I don’t know what it is like to be a single mother, even though I was raised by one.
I don’t know what it is like to be divorced. Even though my parents were.
I don’t know what it is like to have cancer, even though I worked in Oncology.
I don’t know what it is like to be adopted. Even though my mother was.
I don’t know what it is like to lose a parent to death. Even though I have stood beside friends who have.
I don’t know what it is like to be a man, even though I am married to one.
I don’t know what it is like to be bullied. Even though I was a bully.
I don’t know what it is like to be homeless, even though I was in foster care.
I don’t know what it is like to care for someone who is in chronic pain, even though I studied it at university.
I don’t know.
But I am interested. SO interested. SO interested. Intrigued. Mesmerised.
Five Reasons Why Sharing Your Story is Vital.
- When you share your story, you show people an alternative way. You give alternative perspectives. And people be like, “yeah, I’m going to try that”.
- I can’t live all the lives that can be lived. To have all the experiences. To share all the adventures.
- You offer a way for others who may be lost in the same wilderness as you were.
- You provide the opportunity for others to say, “Me too” and then they don’t feel alone.
- You leave a legacy. People will get to know the real you. Not the glossy, public you. You allow people to get to really SEE you.
You get yours.
I get mine.
And they get theirs.
And you will vibe with some and not with others. And lets agree that we can be okay with that. Without anyone being better than or less than. Just different.
So, if we ever meet, I will want to know who you are, what your story is and I will want to remind you that your story, your experience matters. I will seem nosy. Intrusive even. But it’s because that is important to me.
I’m not the kind of small talk chick. I can do it, but it exhausts me.
And I am reminded, after my little encounter recently, that I will never pretend to know what it is like for you in what you are going through.
And even though I might not have experienced any of the things you have, I will try not to tell you how you should do your life. I am a fixer. I will always be one. So I will want to help. But I will try my best to meet you where you are.
So if you read what I write and be all like, “It’s all right for you isn’t it…but you don’t know what it’s like to be…..*insert your life experience*” I would say, I agree. I have no idea. But I still would love to hear all about it anyway!
If you have a story to share, that you think may benefit others – because god knows people need to find their people – let me help you set up a blog. Or a film an interview. Or, I don’t know…help you find your written words….anything!
Your experience matters.
Big, big love
Oh and P.S……
…..Before anyone gets upset that I am putting down the value of non-mothers opinions, let me embrace you and let you know…some of my most biggest life influencers and role models are those without children. Oprah. Marie Forleo. Kris Carr. xx