Beauties.  Hello!!

2016 is about to be gently let go to the ocean very soon. And when I contemplate the year, I have gone from feeling agitated and disappointed to so grateful and ridiculously blessed.

It’s been a ‘different’ kind of year for me this year.

It probably wasn’t exactly the year I had planned.

But then again…maybe it was.

At the beginning of the year, I talked to the universe about growth. About my growth.

I asked that I be presented with opportunities to grow. Personally, professionally and spiritually.

On New Years Day I was spewing my guts up. Some say it was a hang over, but I was feeling like proper sick. Happy god damn new year right?

Not too long after that, one Sunday I felt really tired with a headache, laid down on my bed at 5pm and didn’t get out of bed until 7am the following morning. I didn’t move a muscle overnight. My neck couldn’t turn when I woke.

The result. Viral Meningitis. How? well, turned out I had contracted the (as I have come to experience) very debilitating virus, Ross River Virus.

The insult to my body was pretty significant. The immense stress it put on me, meant that my hormones went ‘stoooopid’ and as a result of that, wound up with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome!

fd6e23d1d4d7b12f19766a996e346da3

I mean WHHHHHAAAATTT???

Me?

This doesn’t happen to me!

Well, turns out, when you are human, lots of human stuff can happen. You would think I would know that by now. And looking around in our world, it seems it does. A LOT.

And by the looks of it when stuff does happen, we are left with a few choices.

We can be pissed at the universe (I did that).
We can be disappointed that we didn’t bypass this shizzle (did that too).
We can think that we have done something wrong and are being punished (thanks to years of religious dogma…me too).
We can see that this stuff that happens to us, has the capacity to strengthen us..(got there in the end).
We can use the experience to ask, “What is here for me to learn?”. “How can this experience help me grow?” BINGO!

BIN.GO

This year has taught me a lot and like I requested, has helped me grow.

Life doesn’t appear to notice good and bad in terms of the evolution of our experience. It just responds to what we need. And most of what we need we aren’t clear on until it presents. Packaged in bows sometimes and in bags of shit on others!

It has taught me that we are fragile us humans, and we really need to take care of ourselves. Especially as women. In fact, women…we need to be more gentle!

It has taught me that we are all in this together. This messy, creative, upsy downy thing called life.

That asking for support is an act of bravery. But mostly, asking for support is accepting that things need to change and we may not have the capacity to do that alone.

It reminded me acupuncture rocks my world.

It taught me that friends matter. And the kind of friends we allow into our hearts matter.

It taught me that our body has more wisdom than we acknowledge. More than I acknowledge.

It taught me that my body is not how it looks. Never. It is always how it feels. To me!

It taught me that rest is not just an idea, it is a compulsory requirement for most humans!  It is an act of divine responsibility actually! Especially this human!

It taught me that my complete desire and nature state is to create stuff that I feel compelled to do.

96875c8e3676e5d47cbe0282727b626fIt reminded me that my family is the most cherished thing to me. Always. 

It has taught me that we only have one life. One! In this body. This time around.

It jolted me to be reminded that we are all dying. All of us. So, best we get on with living a life that is filled with what is important to us.

It taught me that the world will still turn, irrespective of my contribution to it. It really will.

It taught me that books are the quiet support, offering inspiration and encouragement and ask nothing in return. Our own private, intimate counselling.

It reminded me that I WILL make mistakes. And I am brave enough to try shit so I will have the opportunity to make more…and will grow!

It taught me that falling, is not punishment, it is a strength building exercise!

Phew!

And many, many, many more!

In my down time this year in my recovery phase I had some much needed time and space to do a bit of a life inventory.

And what I discovered is it is my absolute love and desire to create. Create stuff that I feel inspired to. Stuff that I want to share with other humans, with the intention to create a positive impact on the people it touches.

My acupuncturist said to me, You are just like an artist. An artist creates an artwork and when that canvas in complete they move on to the next creation.

I believe we are all like that.

I believe we are all unlimited in our capacity to create.

We’ve just lost our way by believing the story that there are ‘creative’ people and ‘not creative’ people. I believe there are people who use their creativity consciously and those who don’t!

It is people who follow the curiosities that ignite a spark in their soul!

I jotted down some of my creations for 2016:

  • Soul Oxygen Retreat.
  • Article on the “BS of Busy” for an international magazine.
  • Interview with a New Zealand Wellness Writer.
  • “Mother and Daughter Creative Connection” workshops.
  • More one on one clients
  • A “Love Letter Project”, sending more random love letters out into the world. That project found me in the local paper and on the radio.
  • Writing to you on my blog
  • Creation of “The Gathering”. Space for women to come and share, and connect and love.
  • Creation of “Get Your Drum On” workshop
  • And We will close 2016 out with a “New Moon Ceremonial Collective”.

I’m not listing all this stuff to boast, I am listing it because I want to illustrate that creating stuff to help facilitate the growth of others is what I do. And next year will be no exception.

But a few things will change next year and I’ll be filling you in after Christmas on all the exciting changes I plan to implement.

I am in the process of exploring all the possibilities available and allowing my body to inform me if it is a YES or a NO.

jen-14At the moment a BIG YES is to writing my book and to creating space for other writers to gather as well.

If you feel like you might want to explore your creative in 2017, if you haven’t already, I’d love for you to sign up to my newsletters and you’ll be up to speed with where I am at.

2016 isn’t over yet, so I am sure I’ll be back before the end.

Big, big love

Jen

4 thoughts on “

  1. You learnt ALL that in one year of illness? You are a fast learner and a fast mover – moving through at seemingly untold speeds! And inspiring others as you go…Well done!!
    I am definitely ready for my bows…
    I could see myself in all of those stages you listed and I am stuck at what is here for me to learn…
    Still going on that one. All the best to you Jen for a lovely Christmas and wonderful New Year. xoxox

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  2. AND STILL learning too Xanthe. I guess, because I have been a seeker for a lot of years now, that I am getting faster at getting the lessons. And by faster, I mean I have developed some strategies to help me rise again after my falls. The more you fall, the more you learn how to rise again. 🙂

    I know the frustration that comes with not understanding ‘why’ this is happening. And, with this last life challenge I kind of surrendered to it. I didn’t have to understand it, because I knew that if I just kept following my body, listening, paying attention, that the lesson would bubble up. Slowly, like from the deep, deeps depths. The bubble surfaced. And as I keep moving, gently, more and more learnings come.

    Nothing is wasted.

    Where you are is asking for your attention. Your care and your kindness. Not thrashing around trying to move on and grabbing at ‘getting the lesson’. It will surface. It will.

    And the fastest way to allow it to surface is to PLAY. What do you do for play. Like, childlike, heart swelling play? Do you dance? Do you sing? Do you meditate?

    All of these have been healers to me. But first, I must play! The more I play, the better I feel. The more inspired I am to create. The more connected I am with why I am here.

    Searching and trying and forcing are serious things. Painting, writing and dancing are creative. Not so serious.

    Not sure if any of this helps.

    I’d love to hear how you play! xxx

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    1. Hi Jen, thanks for your great response. I don’t do a lot of play at the moment (or for a good while) as my biggest play items are dance and travel/social, which I do not have the energy or strength for atm…
      Other things I do to play (with lower levels of physical ability) are read, sew and crochet.
      I really just am in a stage of moving from one space to the next right now, as we speak. Of realising I have to do something different to what I have always done, and right now that feels like giving up work permanently in order to heal. For years now (decades really) I have struggled along doing everything I know and find to assist my body in healing while maintaining some sort of normalcy and connection to my life. But the only thing I have not tried is to give up work and concentrate solely on me, no distractions. It is a HUGE decision but I am moving forward and seeing if it is something I can bring into reality. The thought that has gotten me to my decision is that I have to start dealing NOT with what I want my life to be and hoping and expecting that I can turn it around, but instead dealing with what I actually (this minute) have to face. My experience over WAY too many years has been nothing but disappointment after disappointment. No more living in hope of a different future and now learning to live with my present. Exhaling now…

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      1. Do you like to paint Xanthe? Or sing? Or write? I wonder, what creative play can you invite into your life while you are recovering? Something soothing and kind.

        And the work thing….Doesn’t sound like you are leaping out of bed to go to work?Why do you have this work I wonder? So many questions really. Maybe in the new year we can have a chat over Skype? Who knows what might happen with a chat? 😉 Don’t forget to take a big INHALE after that exhale. And while you are at it, take a few more! Learning to breathe, like proper has been one of the life changing actions I have taken so far. But we can talk all about that when we chat. 🙂 Big love. xxx

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