You ever been in a big shit storm and stinky-arse funk?
The kind where you feel like you may or may not even be able to get out of bed to face the day?
The kind where you just cannot muster up the strength the even consider being friendly to one more ducking person.
The kind where you feel you like everything you know about how to create the life you want just seems like BS and a load of woo woo fairy dust.
The kind where you look around and everyone seems to be doing amazing, world changing, glorious cool stuff and you feel like the ground is even repelled by you?
The first 6 months of the year were like this for me.
They were tough.
I was depleted. Sick. Tired. Pissy. And I just felt like I had nothing left to give. No really. NO THING!
I’m pleased to say that that storm has passed. But jeezus it felt like it was going on FOREVER!
I wondered if it would ever pass.
After the storm, when I look back on the wake of destruction I see it so differently than when I was in it.
In it, I was holding on at times by an eyelash.
After it, I see a courageous journey.
During the shit storm I felt like I was being broken down. That I WAS broken.
After the storm I see I was broken open.
They (and I am not exactly sure who they are) say that ‘the truth will set you free’. In that storm I felt like I was anything but free.
After the storm, I see that the actions I took, the tiny actions I took repeatedly, over and over, almost unconsciously were my biggest saviours and my biggest teachers.
So, if you are right smack bang in the stinky storm maybe I can offer a couple of space for refuge….remembering of course, that this is how I found MY way. Let me remind you…there is wisdom in YOUR way sweet one…
Tell the truth. Status Update: Stuck in a Shit Storm
If you feel like things are not as you would like them, sweetheart, it is ok to admit it is sucky right at the moment. Lying and pretending that it isn’t happening is just BS. All the positive psychology in the world that tells you to fake it till you make it….if that works for you, keep doing it…it just didn’t work for me! I felt like I was flat out lying to myself! And, as someone who has endured a lot of betrayal and deception in my life, I can’t betray and lie to myself anymore. But that is me.
Oh and while I was at it, I had to consider other places where I wasn’t telling the truth as well….#anotherblogbrewing
Get off Facebook
No, really. I had to stop looking at it. I might have been kidding myself that I was looking there for ‘inspiration’, for something to ‘help’. And maybe you might find inspiration, maybe you find help…me, no. For me, it was just another opportunity to look at what I WASN’T doing in the world. It was another opportunity to compare myself to the gloss that is Facebook. It was another opportunity to squeeze lemon on my open wound.
I had to tell the truth. It hurt me. Not because of anyone else, but because of what I used it for. None of it was kind to….myself.
How many folk just sit and scroll through anyway and never make a comment. Why you be doing that? Does it bring freedom? Does it bring connection? Notice for you. For me, it brought the complete opposite. So, I stopped it. It just wasn’t kind for me. What is it you are REALLY looking for?
Say NO. A LOT.
There might be a loft of amazingly well intentioned folk who want to help. If you want their help then say yes…if you don’t, tell the truth and say “Thank you but no, not at the moment”. If you are asked to help someone else, say NO. Shit storms are a fantastic place to build the old NO muscle. Sometimes I reckon that is why we have the darn things. To ask where I am I saying yes, when the truth is I want to say NO. Own your no. I know, I know (sheesh, the english language) it is hard. It is uncomfortable especially if you are a ‘good girl’ or ‘nice girl’ who doesn’t want to let anyone down. If you want to stay stuck in the storm, cool…just keep saying yes, when what you really mean is no.
My NO muscle is pretty strong now. It has meant that folk who I taught to expect my yes, are re-calibrating as well.
Be Brave and Reach for a Branch.
My branch: Therapy. I am a therapy advocate. Not just any type of therapy. The type of therapy that isn’t just about talking, isn’t about exploring our childhoods, but therapy that is all about truth seeking. Our own truth. Exploring the stuff that gets in the way of us shining our unique light super bright. Therapy for me is more about the therapist than the therapy itself. Human to human. A human who can hold space for deep discovery and growth. I had to uncover what lead me to the depleted state I was in.
My branch: Book. I am a spiritual book advocate. Those books are written by humans. Humans willing to put their experiences out there with the intention to help. I love books. If you are right in the eye of the storm, perhaps you would use some of the books that were my crutches. “Broken Open” by Elizabeth Lesser. “Life Loves You” by Louise Hay and Robert Holden. “The Seekers Guide” Elizabeth Lesser. “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown.
My branch: Pure “Just because”. My just because was singing. I joined a singing group. Just because! I wasn’t intending to go on The Voice or such creative opportunities. I did it “just because”. Because I like to sing. Because I like groups. Because I wanted to. Just because.
My branch: music. Lots of music. Lots and lots of music. Healing vibrations. Some uplifting. Some matching my dark moods. Music! Some of my musical pillows – “Break the Shell” India Arie. “Save the Hero” Beyonce. “Hungry” Dotan. “All Roads” Tina Malia. “Teach Me How to Be Loved” Rebecca Ferguson. “I Believe” Waifs. “Brave” Leona Lewis.
Lastly, just do whatever you need…and make it as kind as you can….you’re enough!
We are all just humans finding our own way in the world. Experimenting with this way, and trialling that way. Finding what works and doesn’t work for us. It requires us to pay attention and maybe start to ask questions about how we have done life up until this point. Maybe it isn’t what our heart really wants. Maybe? Maybe the storm presents in order to wake up up from our long and deep sleep. Sleep walking through the world doing repeatedly what we think we ‘should’ do?
Maybe what feels like a busted arse break down is a re-calibrating wake up call.
Be kind to yourself. Go gently. Carefully with yourself.
Big love to you