0

Gnothi seauton: Know thyself. This I know for sure about me….

A year or so ago I went to a personal branding gig.

I’d heard about this chicka on the radio who said, “creative entrepreneurs get distracted by shiny objects. They are interested in a lot of things and find it hard to keep focus”.

The world kinda stopped spinning in that moment. That is all I heard. All I needed to hear to know that this woman ‘got’ me and the rest of what she said, I can’t really know. But that thing about finding it hard to keep focus…yeah, she knew me and I knew she could help me.

I jotted down her name on my ever ready sticky note pad (thanks bestie for giving me supplies) I was in. I was going to whatever thing she had going.

A few weeks later I found myself sat in this ok-ish room, with about 6 other folks that I thought were like me. Yay. Tribe. More tribe. Fist pump ya’ll.

This chicka told her story, told us a bunch of ‘tried and tested’ methods to ‘get noticed’ and be a ‘best selling author’ and in order to do that you have to find your ‘niche’.

We went through a bunch of writing exercises that I had done in the past about trying to locate that ‘one thing’ that ‘holy grail thing’ that you are here to do.

It didn’t take long until my skin kinda started to crawl.

You know me right? You know I hate box-a-fi-ing folk…unless they want to be boxed up and labelled. You know me and you know I don’t.

“But what about the shiny, shiny thing we were going to talk about. We were going to say it was okay weren’t we”? I silently pleaded.

9ce8d98fa423435e385bc66cc65ffac2

It appeared not!

No, we were going to look at the ‘one thing’ and bag and tag it and then get on with writing about it, tweeting about it, social-media-a-fi-ing it, brand colouring it, catchy catch phrase thinging it.

Fuck.

I felt dejected.

I felt like I was never going to sort my shit out. I am interested in too many things and god knows what will happen next week? I mean only yesterday I said to my husband, “I’m going to write a play. It’ll have characters I love, music I love and then I can perform it with people I love”. Said husband has learnt over the years to offer me support without narky sarcastic comments. I’m glad he did because he gets to live (with real respect to domestic violence survivors….you must know I am kidding here wayfinders).

So, instead of getting ‘laser focus’ during our workshop what I found is that I ended up wanting to explore the psychology of colours. *sigh*

But here is the real deal.

I am a multi-passionate and multi-diverse kinda human. I know that about me. I might even have a bot of ADD. And who says that is a bad thing? Someone who makes money out of doing it one way!

The whole point here on the planet is to Gnothi seauton‘know thyself’.

Now days I give myself permission to be what I am at the moment.

And at the moment I dabble in writing and do some speaking, do some workshops and run retreats and do some one on one stuff with folks who feel lead to sit and rumble with me. I’m studying yoga. Learning about my digestion and what gives me the farts.

All of it is just really just finding my way through this life of mine. The exploration of all the awesome things are on this planet.

I’m just finding my way…just like everyone else! Finding my way and in doing that, sharing the learnings for me so that I might light a path for another human…maybe.

Marie Forleo who is a force in the online world and is such a powerful influence in the lives of thousands used to struggle with this too. She tells of a time when she was driving her now hubby nuts trying to get him to come up with the word or the title for her. She just couldn’t get it. She loved to dance, perform, coach folks, develop on-line stuff and so much more.

After A LOT of painstaking ‘knowing thyself-ing’ she got her title. Marie calls herself a Multi-Passionate-Entreprenure. Boom! She found her title and she exhaled.

The advice she gives to those of us who don’t fit into a box…don’t let it stop you from doing all that you feel called to do. Don’t limit yourself to a title. Find out what you feel like you just have to do and get on with doing that. Don’t worry yourself about that label thing! Just do!

d9c94d40fbd7b6d9739ad02b6b77062f

So my precious, if you are struggling with the title, the thing, the moment when the angels sing on high because you have found that one thing….let me remind you that you are a unique expression of the universe. NO ONE created like you.

If you want a title, wayfind yourself there. You are allowed! It’s your way!

Maybe you want to have the experience of being a kinesiologist.

Or explore the possibility of being a master reiki practitioner.

Or a surgeon.

Go have the experience and allow yourself to say, “nah, not that anymore”.

Sure folks will call you a flake…but own the adventure. Secretly I reckon they would want to follow in your adventurous path.

Don’t believe the hype that you need to be a certain way to succeed in the world.

I don’t have thousands of followers..in fact I don’t even have hundreds. I don’t have my own ‘brand tag line’ or a best seller or a PhD….at the moment.

I give my permission to grow, to change, to re-invent, to create!

I get to do it my way.

I get to do what I love for a living. And if that changes, I reckon that there will be something for me to explore in there!

In the meantime, I’ll call myself a wayfinder. And my catch might be something like, “a woman finding her own way, so she may help others find theirs”.

I’d love to hear how you feel about titles, and labels and about why you think you are here on the planet.

Big love

Jen

xx

 

 

0

This is one moment I feel pretty freaking amazing!

I swear to goddess there are some days where I am just freaking amazing.

Do you know these days….

8ce4bb3a9c6bd75bfbf40eca814e4f1e

You (and remember when I write ‘you‘ I really mean ‘I‘) take time out for you.

You meditate for your 20 minutes you are ‘supposed’ to.

You move your body in a fun and functional way.

You smile just because.

You eat super delux-a-licious soul and body nourishing meals and none of that nasty processed BS.

You are kind to folk you encounter…even the grump-arse ones.

You have patience with potentially World War III inducing conflicts in the house.

Your breath doesn’t smell.

Your legs have been de-forested.

Your skin is pimple free.

You speak so kindly to yourself, it might seem a bit awkward and uncomfortable to your neurotic room mates in your head.

You hug strangers and meet them in the eye and hold gaze, communicating silently you love them.

You are not late to one.single.thing.

You get all green lights.

Your hair is glossy. Your guts isn’t bloated.

Your husband adoringly looks at you and smiles at your excitement that you have found a real life allow vera plant for treating all your ills.

You know those days hey?

Well, my friend, I cannot remember the last time I had one of those days.

Most of my days have bits and pieces of these things and my wayfinders, but I am yet to get a full box-tick experience.

b1b2d79d8072dbe9f100290df4611215

And yet….

I am enough.

You are enough damn it!

I haven’t yet met one single person who has all their shit together nor could tick all the boxes in the above list all on one day! Not one. In fact, I want to meet one of them. Just to follow them around so I can see if it they are human! But I doubt that is going to be this life time.

There are ‘moments’ of days, where I smile at strangers.

Moments in days where I grin to myself about how amazing our kids are..which is usually when they are all getting along and doing what they love.

Moments where I acknowledge how kind I am to myself, when I could choose to be a mean bitch.

Moments.

Sometimes we aim for these perfect lives where all the boxes must be ticked to be a happy human. Or maybe that is just me.

I’m slowly learning that life is actually a bunch of moments we create and respond to.

Moments.

I’m learning to check in to the moments more and more to find something to smile about.

If there is nothing, I trust that there will be a moment sometime soon. That seems to be how life works.

Shit moment, shit moment, awesome moment, nothing moment, numb moment, ADHD moment, zen moment, shit moment, really shit moment, calm moment…all moments that make this beautiful, crazy thing called life!

In a moment life changes. Not a lot of us appear to be able  to control a lot of that external stuff…and goddess knows I have tried!

The internal stuff, the internal chattering, and self beat up BS, well, that I can do something about.

It has taken a lot of effort. Time. Self reflection. Still does.

And it is all worth it to help we accept that this life is never meant to be perfect and THAT is the gift of it.

The diversity. The challenge. The change. The bullshit. It all matters, because we matter!

e049dc006915033e0dbfbc1e7b11c71b

You matter.

I matter!

Our moments matter.

Take a deep breath with me now…deeeep one and enjoy that moment.

And then, in gentle kindness smile to the next moment.

We’re doing the best we can in each moment.

Scrap all the moments that we are mean to ourselves. Hit the refresh.

Annnd, the next moment.

Here with you in this moment…how ever that moment looks like for you!

Big love

Jen

xx

 

 

 

 

2

I did this pretty cool thing today….

*language warning…I use words like fuck and shit*

My day started in a way that it hasn’t started in a while.

I know some of you will roll you eyes at this next part because you are probably sick of hearing about it, but I’m saying it anyway (and actually, eye rolling is good for our eyes…so do it anyway).

The last year has been a bit of beat up on my body with Ross River Fever, Polyscystic Ovarian Syndrome, nodes on my Thyroid and my adrenals were shot. Yay me. Yay my body…(now I am eye rolling).

The first half of the year left me SO exhausted, that the mornings were really rough. REALLY rough. In fact, a lot of the days was really rough. I had to choose gentle in almost every moment.

As I have started to feel better with appropriate support from all angles (and angels too if they exist), my creative mind has been more active, I have had more energy, my sense of humour has been in play, my ability to support folks in my work has improved and well, I have felt better.

Today though, after a big weekend of partying with my soul-peeps, fun with the fam  some grown up adult-ing, I was pretty flat.

I felt tired, agitated and a bit off course.

Then, before I knew it, my mind was hijacked by a bunch of unsupportive neurotic house mates who piped up and started chattering away in my head and then, before I knew it I felt like I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. Like everything I had been working toward, I wanted to chuck out.

Then, in the next moment I had this great desire to chuck EVERYTHING out. All my clothes. The plants in our garden. All our food. Books. Furniture. Cushions (you know things are real when I consider chucking cushions out).

I just felt like I wanted to start over. All of it.

Do you ever feel like that?

You just want to start again. That everything you have accumulated up until this point, you want to chuck out and start again?

You (pssst. secret in-tell… whenever I write ‘you’, I actually really mean ‘I’) want to undo the crappy, short tempered remarks you made to your littlest child when you were at an event that you hadn’t taken any food to….and said child who was hungry?

You want to take back the bitchy thing you said to your hubby and actually say, “thank you for all the great shit you do for us”.

You want to wear a big bag because you hate all your clothes and seriously consider getting a gad damn stylist to help with your shit arse fashion sense.

You want to be back to your fit self and go for a walk and instead go and eat some of the left over cheesecake.

You scroll through instagram and see all the fucking perfect lives everyone else is living, their crazy ability to wear clothes and they look nice.

You see on Fakebook all the bloody perfect lunches folks are making their kids and you feel like a putze and worry your kids are going to end up with some serious health issues because it isn’t all raw, unprocessed, gluten free, dairy free, sugar free…fuck…

And all the while, you notice NONE of this is actually helping!

So what do you do?

Well, I don’t know what you do (and yes I would love to know), but this morning practiced something that I had to practice A LOT when I was in the depths of my deep physical and emotional pain.

I had to do this thing, that I am not joking is both revolutionary and yet so fucking hard for me at times…and it’s this thing…

I had to..OWN IT.

What?

Own it?

Yep, I had to own that I was feeling exactly how I was feeling. I felt fucking flat. Full stop. No story. Just did.

I felt unmotivated. Unproductive. Tired. Annoyed. Negative. And pretty meh!

No story. Just how I was showing up.

AND then I had to do this next thing which, is harder than the first!

No, really, for me this next step if full out uncomfortable….

I had to…BE KIND.

images

What?

Be kind?

I know right. Sounds easy, simple, ‘pft’ and I gotta say it is easy to say the words, “I need to be kind to myself” but what is that?

Is it take a bath? Is it go for a walk? Is it call a friend? Is it retail therapy?

Sure, they are all kind behaviours. But what I am learning is that they are superficial acts when you really don’t ‘feel’ what is really going on when you are feeling flat, or dejected, or disappointed or not good enough…

The kind thing to do is to open up to the full experience of my flatness WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

That is kind.

Kind is giving yourself a break for being a fucking human.

Kind is allowing yourself to be in a funk…without the fucking story.

Kind is knowing that not everyone, everyday has all their shit together.

Kind is owning your stuff.

Owning where you are..right now….at the moment! (if you haven’t read about those as my 3 fave words you might want to check Three words that have SERIOUSLY transformed my life. No really!!)

Own your shit.

Take the fucking mask off and be real, with yourself.

Tell the truth to yourself.

And then, instead of saying, “snap out of you dumb fucker, you’re always feeling like this and you are always going to feel like this… you say,  “yep, this is negative, this is wallowy, and that is okay. You are ok. I am ok. Yeah, I feel this way at the moment but shit sake…humans do sometimes”.

Then, you take a deep breath and move to the next moment.

That moment may have more flatness in it, or it might have more space to just wash the dishes, or respond to that email, or call to make that appointment without beating yourself up.

It might.

And wouldn’t that be pretty cool wayfinders?

That we could move to the next moment just being kind to ourselves?

Moving to the next moment choosing inner thoughts that are supportive and kind and gentle.

Imagine if we could do that for 3 whole moments, then 6, then a whole half a day! Imagine!

Yeah, lets try that shit out!

So, today I hit the reset…of nothing external to me…so no, I didn’t chuck anything out.

Instead, I hit the ‘do over’ on my thinking.

Bullshit self beat up just isn’t cool anymore….It’s just so 1925 (well, it’s old anyway).

Be kind to yourself…just give it a go…

Big love

Wayfinder Jen

Check out this song to support you: You know I love those songs!!

Song “I Can Do It” by Bella Huxley

ps..that gorgeous image above is from taolifestudio.com x

 

 

 

0

I just wonder…

Hi fellow Wayfinders,

As you know, I use this space for blurting out a lot of the stuff that I experience on my journey and hope that some of it may help others as they find their way.

My hope is sometimes my writing may act as a bit of a flashlight on an unlit path. That maybe by me sharing my perspective you get to try on another view or perhaps you can say, ‘yeah, me too’ so you don’t feel like you are the only one.

It is, I have to say, a pretty brave thing to do, this writing thing.

It is brave in that, often it is like me standing naked in front of you and pointing to all the bits that I find are unpleasant and sometimes grabbing a torch and shining it on  my most, well, exposed parts. Sorry for those images 😉

7bf7193094482538f797d0b8adc2d97f

It took me many years before I felt safe to share all my stuff. Well, not all of it….I had to overcome a LOT of inner BS chatterings and STILL I have chatterings that can make life really tough at times!!

Anyway, I just wanted to say, that if you too are feeling like you want to use your life, your experience in some way to help others along their path, I was just wondering

What are the excuses you are using that stop you from doing that? In my next blog, I want to share our most common BS stories….mine are doozies!

I may not know you intimately, but if you are following this blog, I do know that you are a wayfinder…and I know that you don’t want your life to be a ‘meh’ kind of life.

I know you want to use your life to make a difference….

So, I wonder…what are the excuses you are using that stop you?

Lets go a a BS Busting mission…

Wanna come?

Lets do this!

Share in the comments below and lets do this thing! Or, if you feel a little exposed do that, you know how you can email me.

I’m here on this planet to help shift BSing beliefs…so, I’m with you!

Big, big love

Jen

Oh and if you think you know other way finders who might want to journey along with us, feel free to pass on my deets and they can have stuff shot straight to their in boxes too!

Big, big love

Jen

Finding her own way, to help folk find theirs!

xxx

 

0

Who? Them? Who? Me?

I’ve been immersed in the genre of personal growth and spiritual exploration for many years now.

In this genre there is a repeated theme. “You are unique”. “You are different”. “Follow YOUR dream”.

For a long time, these little catch phrases were things I tried to embody, but it turned out that they were too small for all the complex and diversity of not just me, but other folk I observed too.

The personal growth world can actually be a lonely place if you adhere to these little catch phrases. It forces us outside the collective. It pushes us from the true social-ness of our beings.

Everything I am, everything I say, everything I write is a direct result of the social-ness-ness of me.

The books I have read, the parents I have had, the school I went to, the boyfriends, the girlfriends, the jobs, the holidays, the aeroplane trips, the songs during the car commutes, the guy who cut me off in traffic and flipped me the bird, the gluten free cupcake that made me gag…

All apart of my life tuition.

So often it is tempting to reject our experiences because we wish they weren’t that way. And often that rejection of what was, what is, is the exact thing that keeps us stuck.

So, while I know I am unique and I know that I am different, and while I follow my dream I know that none of it is done on my own or done alone.

Every encounter with life is a collaboration. Not a competition (despite the misinterpretation of Darwins ‘survival of the fittest’).

You and I are collaborating right now. You and I are having an experience together right now. Even though you may think that I am writing this for someone else or for me, I am actually writing BECAUSE of you, BECAUSE of me, BECAUSE of us.

You collaborated with your parents, your teachers, your friends, your bosses, your co-workers AND you are STILL collaborating with them.

So, are you still bitter and resentful that life didn’t give you the smoothest of runs?

Are you still angry that your parents were flawed, said and did things that were down right shit?

Have you intellectually healed, and say things like, “they have the problem not me”.

1424807260669

Are you still pissed that your grade 3 teacher put you down?

Do you still dry retch when you think of that gluten free cup cake (ok, that is me)…

Maybe you are looking at the life you created and you go, “damn, not this thank you”. And we can fight it. We can blame our partners, our parents, our kids, our boss…but we all know, deep down that we were a part of the collaboration we call our life.

We know this, but yet, we puff us and say, “I didn’t do anything wrong. I was simply meditating and they bust in on my calm. If they didn’t do that, I would be floating my way through life”.

It’s McDonalds fault because they make those burgers.

It’s the teacher who is overworked and underpaid fault.

It’s the other team cheating.

It’s them, it’s them…..

No, it is US. We create it together. Like water and flour make….a mess…and glue.

Yes, I am different but I am the same.

We might say, “I didn’t collaborate with ISIS…don’t include me in that”.

No, I didn’t either but I did gossip and alienate other folk. That causes pain.

I flipped out in anger and energetically hit folk with the flying debris of my unprocessed emotions. It caused pain.

This is not about blaming ourselves either.

It is about getting the truth that we are flawed creatures doing the bloody best we can in a world that frequently busts in on our zen!

What it really is about is forgiving ourselves for our humanity. Our same-ness.

Forgiving our folks for their crappy choices.

Forgiving the guy who drove like a damn maniac and made our hearts nearly explode.

Forgiving the drug addict who stole from the local store.

Forgiving ourselves for being dicks when things didn’t go our own way.

Forgiveness is not about saying that what happened was okay. It is about accepting that what happened is never going to change and we give up the hope that it ever will.

We do our own inner work to unstick that toxic energy that got stuck there that time when it was ‘them’.

Forgiveness is f*cking tough. It takes us to get pissed and feel whatever we really need to to really process the feelings of what we REALLY felt then. To press the pause button so it plays again. In my experience, we can’t do this fully, alone.

We must collaborate.

With elders. With wisdom. With teachers.

Curiously gathering perspectives other than the ones that keep us stuck in pain.

Who are you collaborating with right now? And are they on your team and are you on theirs? If not, you gotta ask why?

You are unique, you are different and you are willed to follow your dreams…but you are not meant to do it alone!

You are not alone…

And exhale.

Big love

Jen

xx

 

 

0

One of my fave things about the ‘work’ I do….

Music has always been a huge part of my life.

When I was in my 20’s and went off travelling, one of my trips was across the country. After I returned from overseas, I thought it would be awesome to see our great land.

So, I packed up my little Hyundai Excel and headed off from Brisbane to Perth. By myself.

That was back in the day when mobile phones could only call and text and the range was shit.

Anyway, on this journey, when I packed up everything I owned..that included an acoustic guitar.

I thought it would be super cool to learnt he guitar. I’d be a travelling muso .

Long story very short, I still can’t play the guitar. My first fiancé (and I’ve only had 2 and the second one is my hubby) was even a muso and played his guitar within an inch of it’s life. And, I still can’t play the guitar.

But, as long as I travelled, I had that guitar. I had dreams of doing something with music knowing that music is just so potent and has the absolute power to change lives!

I thank god for all the muso’s who provide us with their spin on how they see life. It matters!

So, what has any of this got to do with anything?

I didn’t learn the guitar and while I could look at that as a failure, I see it as a messenger in another fashion. Maybe a couple of fashions.

Firstly, our son is learning the guitar without any encouragement from us AND he uses that guitar I dragged around the country with me.

And secondly, my love of music and the emotion it pulls…I use in all our retreats! In my coaching sessions. Often, I will just hear a song and know I need to give it to someone as a messenger.

It moves us, moves me. It touches us vibrationally. It is love delivered from the creator to us.

Through my teens I used music to find solace and connection in my confused and unsettled life.

As an adult I sing like no one is listening and it heals me. It heals me.

I sing is a SING OUT group and I LOVE it. I sing to the kids every night at bed time and I’ll do it for as long as they ask me and aren’t telling me to shut up!

So, for the next few blogs, I am going to pay homage to the muso’s and the magic they bring to our world.

Songs that I have used in retreats, workshops, coaching and in my own life where I have witnessed great transformation and healing.

If the message is for you, may you hear it, may you be moved my it.

Click here to listen. Lyrics below!!

Big love

Jen

xx

“It’s Your Life” Francesca Battistelli

This is the moment
It’s on the line
Which way you gonna fall?
In the middle between
Wrong and right
But you know after all

[Chorus:]
It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door
It’s your life

Are you who you always said you would be?
With a sinking feeling in your chest
Always waiting for someone else to fix you
Tell me when did you forget

[Chorus]

To live the way that you believe
This is your opportunity
To let your life be one that lights the way

[Chorus]

 

 

 

3

Maybe the most important blog I’ve written….

This is a little different to my usual blog posts, but I actually think it is the most important I’ve written so far.

It won’t be as long and as wordy as usual, but is more potent than most I write.

This specific blog post is really simple yet so meaningful.

It was inspired by this song and these words.

This is to you…..

“Thank You”

If I’ve ever put you through hell
Only called when I needed help
If I’ve only thought of myself
Couldn’t find the words to say what I felt
If I’ve ever lied to your face
Shut you out to keep you away
You’d always give and I’d always take
Yes, it took some time for me to say

Thank you, thank you
For seeing the best and the worst of me
The angel underneath
Thank you

When I had trouble finding my way
You showed me I am not my mistakes, no
And that dreams are meant to be lived, not to be chased
And our hearts get stronger after they break

So thank you, thank you
For seeing the best and the worst of me
The angel underneath
Thank you

Cause I wouldn’t be here without you
How could I ever doubt you
Slamming doors didn’t stop you
Oh, you made me face up to
I wouldn’t be here without you
How could I ever doubt you
I was running wild, a reckless child
I’m sorry if I let you down
If I ever put you through hell
Only called when I needed help
Yes, it took some time for me to see

Thank you, thank you
For seeing the best and the worst of me
The angel underneath
Thank you
Thank you, thank, thank you
Thank you, thank you

6358504733315614281776555591_thank-you-1

To all of you who have ever written a note of support.

For all of you who have forgiven me for my imperfections and failings.

To those who allow me to show up as I am and for you, that is enough.

To those who have supported my journey of self discovery, who have been cheerleaders of my sometimes crazy and costly ideas.

Mostly, thank you to my husband who has seen “the best and the worst of me and the angel underneath”.

It has been a rough and painful journey at times, but absolutely completely worth it.

Sorry to the people who may have been hit by the debris as my shell cracked.

Sorry to those who have been hurt by my humanness and blindness.

Thank you to anyone who has ever come along to a workshop, a retreat a talk, an adventure with me.

Thank you for the support.

Thank you for the uncertainty.

Thank you for using your life to make a difference in mine.

Thank you for holding space for me to grow.

Thanks for the laughs.

Thank you for trusting me with your story.

Thank you!

Thank you!

THANK YOU!

Jen

x

 

4

Sh*t Storm Navigation

You ever been in a big shit storm and stinky-arse funk?

The kind where you feel like you may or may not even be able to get out of bed to face the day?

The kind where you just cannot muster up the strength the even consider being friendly to one more ducking person.

The kind where you feel you like everything you know about how to create the life you want just seems like BS and a load of woo woo fairy dust.

The kind where you look around and everyone seems to be doing amazing, world changing, glorious cool stuff and you feel like the ground is even repelled by you?

images

The first 6 months of the year were like this for me.

They were tough.

I was depleted. Sick. Tired. Pissy. And I just felt like I had nothing left to give. No really. NO THING!

I’m pleased to say that that storm has passed. But jeezus it felt like it was going on FOREVER!

I wondered if it would ever pass.

After the storm, when I look back on the wake of destruction I see it so differently than when I was in it.

In it, I was holding on at times by an eyelash.

After it, I see a courageous journey.

During the shit storm I felt like I was being broken down. That I WAS broken.

After the storm I see I was broken open.

Big open.

Painful open.

Truthful open.

They (and I am not exactly sure who they are) say that ‘the truth will set you free’. In that storm I felt like I was anything but free.

After the storm, I see that the actions I took, the tiny actions I took repeatedly, over and over, almost unconsciously were my biggest saviours and my biggest teachers.

So, if you are right smack bang in the stinky storm maybe I can offer a couple of space for refuge….remembering of course, that this is how I found MY way. Let me remind you…there is wisdom in YOUR way sweet one…

images

     Tell the truth. Status Update: Stuck in a Shit Storm

If you feel like things are not as you would like them, sweetheart, it is ok to admit it is sucky right at the moment. Lying and pretending that it isn’t happening is just BS. All the positive psychology in the world that tells you to fake it till you make it….if that works for you, keep doing it…it just didn’t work for me! I felt like I was flat out lying to myself! And, as someone who has endured a lot of betrayal and deception in my life, I can’t betray and lie to myself anymore. But that is me.

Oh and while I was at it, I had to consider other places where I wasn’t telling the truth as well….#anotherblogbrewing

     Get off Facebook

No, really. I had to stop looking at it. I might have been kidding myself that I was looking there for ‘inspiration’, for something to ‘help’. And maybe you might find inspiration, maybe you find help…me, no. For me, it was just another opportunity to look at what I WASN’T doing in the world. It was another opportunity to compare myself to the gloss that is Facebook. It was another opportunity to squeeze lemon on my open wound.

I had to tell the truth. It hurt me. Not because of anyone else, but because of what I used it for. None of it was kind to….myself.

How many folk just sit and scroll through anyway and never make a comment. Why you be doing that? Does it bring freedom? Does it bring connection? Notice for you. For me, it brought the complete opposite. So, I stopped it. It just wasn’t kind for me. What is it you are REALLY looking for?

     Say NO. A LOT.

There might be a loft of amazingly well intentioned folk who want to help. If you want their help then say yes…if you don’t, tell the truth and say “Thank you but no, not at the moment”. If you are asked to help someone else, say NO. Shit storms are a fantastic place to build the old NO muscle. Sometimes I reckon that is why we have the darn things. To ask where I am I saying yes, when the truth is I want to say NO. Own your no. I know, I know (sheesh, the english language) it is hard. It is uncomfortable especially if you are a ‘good girl’ or ‘nice girl’ who doesn’t want to let anyone down. If you want to stay stuck in the storm, cool…just keep saying yes, when what you really mean is no.

My NO muscle is pretty strong now. It has meant that folk who I taught to expect my yes, are re-calibrating as well.

     Be Brave and Reach for a Branch.

My branch: Therapy. I am a therapy advocate. Not just any type of therapy. The type of therapy that isn’t just about talking, isn’t about exploring our childhoods, but therapy that is all about truth seeking. Our own truth. Exploring the stuff that gets in the way of us shining our unique light super bright. Therapy for me is more about the therapist than the therapy itself. Human to human. A human who can hold space for deep discovery and growth. I had to uncover what lead me to the depleted state I was in.

My branch: Book. I am a spiritual book advocate. Those books are written by humans. Humans willing to put their experiences out there with the intention to help. I love books. If you are right in the eye of the storm, perhaps you would use some of the books that were my crutches. “Broken Open” by Elizabeth Lesser. “Life Loves You” by Louise Hay and Robert Holden. “The Seekers Guide” Elizabeth Lesser. “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown.

My branch: Pure “Just because”. My just because was singing. I joined a singing group. Just because! I wasn’t intending to go on The Voice or such creative opportunities. I did it “just because”. Because I like to sing. Because I like groups. Because I wanted to. Just because.

My branch: music. Lots of music. Lots and lots of music. Healing vibrations. Some uplifting. Some matching my dark moods. Music! Some of my musical pillows – “Break the Shell” India Arie. “Save the Hero” Beyonce. “Hungry” Dotan. “All Roads” Tina Malia. “Teach Me How to Be Loved” Rebecca Ferguson. “I Believe” Waifs. “Brave” Leona Lewis.

images

     Lastly, just do whatever you need…and make it as kind as you can….you’re enough!

We are all just humans finding our own way in the world. Experimenting with this way, and trialling that way. Finding what works and doesn’t work for us. It requires us to pay attention and maybe start to ask questions about how we have done life up until this point. Maybe it isn’t what our heart really wants. Maybe? Maybe the storm presents in order to wake up up from our long and deep sleep. Sleep walking through the world doing repeatedly what we think we ‘should’ do?

Maybe what feels like a busted arse break down is a re-calibrating wake up call.

our_eyes_wide_open_by_ounahable-d62gxm5

Be kind to yourself. Go gently. Carefully with yourself.

Big love to you

Jen

xxx