As I journey along, the more and more aware I become that the external world so mirrors my internal world.
Toward the end of last year and well into this year, I heard a lot of women saying how busy there were. How tired they were. How tense they were.
And, so was I.
It wasn’t really well known to me though. It seemed I was too busy to actually feel what was going on. It kinda snuck up on me. Until bam, I was on my pillow, in deep recovery.
As most of you know, my journey to slow down, ended in a complete STOP.
A total unquestionable experience of ‘uh uh, no you can’t Jen’.
As I sought support from both eastern and western medical modalities, it became clear, that this acute illness, was not so acute. It was in fact a chronic experience and my body just said NO! NO MORE!
And just like that, I was out of the game…for longer than I have been since having children!
On investigation of all this ‘body says NO’ symptomology, it came to light that in fact, my body had been trying to communicate with me for a long time that I was depleted. Chronically depleted.
What does that mean?
Well, lets talk money. Money talk is something that seems to get our attention.
Let me ask, what happens when you are given $500 and you spend it all on the first day you get it. It is gone right? But then a bill comes in, and a school uniform gets trashed and the fridge is empty and there is a concert that you really want to go to and needs paid for today….what do you do?
Put it on credit?
If you put it on credit, you are in deficit. That needs paid back. So, the next $500 you get, you pay it back, but then another bill comes and there are 3 birthday parties you are to buy presents for…you spend the pay back.
Still in deficit.
What happens if this becomes a habit of behaviour and the deficit just keeps getting bigger.
The credit card is maxed.
You have no back up.
What if more is consistently going out than coming in?
Over years this habit or behaviour will result in bankruptcy. Right?
Well, what if energy is like money?
What if all the stuff we are doing is spending energy?
What if you were to do an energy in/energy out inventory? How would it stack up?
It isn’t about judging anything and especially not judging yourself, we are just looking at where we spend energy, just like if we kept a list of our financial spending…we get to see clearly where we spend our energy.
I don’t know about you, but I noticed I was often saying, “what the heck did I spend my money on?” You know that, “I must have had someone steal some, I just don’t know where it went”? Or maybe that is just me. When I started tracking my spending, I noticed that it wasn’t the BIG spends that were costing me energy, it was all the ‘little’ spends all put together!
Energetically a BIG SPEND might be a betrayal, a death of a loved one, a lost job, marriage breakdown, heartbreak, moving to a new house, unexpected illness.
Without reserves, a BIG SPEND can put us in to deficit and depending on how bit…could bankrupt us!!
That is what happened to me when I had a Ross River Fever blow out. I had no energetic reserves. The last couple of years have had a few BIG SPENDS. I was running on credit….
Energetically LITTLE SPENDS are a loved one who you haven’t set a boundary with so every time they call to tell you about how shit their world is, you get a drain. Or, the person who cut you off on the way to get the kids. Sitting at your desk for too long. A job that you find soul sucking. Or the shop attendant who was rude. Or the coffee that was burnt. Or the sock you can’t find. Or when your TV record function doesn’t record your fave show and they don’t have it on-line! Social media time warps. Self criticism. Comparison to others. Lying to yourself. Holding a grudge against someone/unforgiveness. Unresolved anger. Constantly stroking a victim story about how you were wronged. Poor, broken sleep. Clearly, some of these are mine 😉
So, energy going out. Big pends? Lots of trickles? How are you faring?
What about energy coming in? What is filling your energetic reserves?
Where does that energy come from?
- Off devices after 8pm and in bed by 10pm and waking at same time each day.
- Deep rest.
- 4 alcohol free days/week.
- Exercise you enjoy.
- Nutrient rich, mostly plant, whole food diet.
- Spending time with with energy givers.
- Asking for what you need.
- Hugs. Kisses. Intimacy.
- Aligning with your values.
- Time in nature
- Speaking kindly to yourself
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Laughing. Belly laughing. Lots of it.
- Supportive community/partner/friends
- Scheduling social media activity and not mindless scrolling for hours.
How is your inventory looking I’d love to hear how you are tracking energetically.
So, if you are in deficit, what do you do?
There are a bunch of ways to support energetic filling.
Here are 7 things you might like to play with to help bring your energy stores back up!
- First thing is pat yourself on the back for acknowledging you might have an energetic deficit. Truth, as it is said, sets us free.
Secondly, STOP. DROP. ROLL. Oh wait, that is what to do if you are in a fire.
Hmmm, well actually, it may just feel like that for you now. So do that. STOP. DROP and ROLL. At least you will laugh and get an energy in tick! 😉
But really. STOP precious one and drop and take in a frickin’ big breath!
AND take ANOTHER one. Right down into your belly. This sends a message to your brain that you are safe and there is no danger. Quick shallow breaths alert the brain that there is something to either prepare to fight with or get the heck out of there!!
3. Say NO. Yes. I mean NO. Yes to saying NO. No to taking on more projects. No social media for a while. No to over-time. No to volunteering for a while. No to fast food. No coffee on an empty stomach. No to listening to bitching and complaining. Saying NO to that shizzle..is saying YES to you! YOUR no’s and use them.
4. Enlist some support. A therapist. A spiritual healer. A coach. A forgiveness therapist. A mentor. A close friend. A naturopath. A holistic doctor. Let them know that you have identified you are in deficit and you want to change up the habit. It might be some support in letting go of a un-foriven. You can’t solve a problem using the same strategies you used to get into the situation (thanks for that wisdom Mr. Einstein). You want to be a thriving member of the community and something is getting in the way!
5. SLOW DOWN. Slow right downnnnnnn. **Slow how you eat. Chew your food. **Slow down how you walk. Notice your feet hit the ground. Hear them. Feel them. **Slow your body. Yoga. Tai Chi. Qi Gong. **Slow your mind; take a breath in for the count of 5 and out for the count of five and do it twice more, sing to music, dance, listen to a guided mediation or take a meditation class. Don’t worry, you won’t lose your spark slowing down…not slowing down in the spark killer.
6. Get outside in nature. Feet on the ground bare footed. Breath in the air. Lift your face to meet the sun with closed eyes. Take in that serotonin (happy chemical) and vitamin D (for healthy bones). Hug a tree. Really. Do that. The energetic vibration is massive. Put your feet in the ocean. Watch the birds. Be reminded you too are nature.
7. Tell someone either in a letter, an email, text, or phone call how much they mean to you or something you love about them. And do it without expecting anything in return. Do it often and feel your energetic cup filling.
I’d love to hear about your energetic status. What you do to fill your energetic being.
Until next time
Speak kindly to yourself. You are with yourself for life.