It’s just not, not cool to blame others when we fail to use our own voice.
I’m well practiced at this.
If hubby does something, or says something that either hasn’t met my expectations, or done something that has confused me…it is MY responsibility to sort that out.
He is happily going long just being himself, doing his thing the best he can….his intention is in no way to hurt me, or be-little me…in fact the complete opposite. He is always supportive, has my back, and is invested in my growth..literally!
When HE does something that doesn’t align with MY expectations….it is MY problem! Not his!
It becomes my story. I have to learn to speak up in the first instance, instead of letting it build and build and then it just creates mess.
Disconnections starts. Resentment builds. He gets confused because he has no idea what the issue is. Trust is damaged.
Victim position is assumed!! Oh poor me that they did that….Yes, but what did I DO? Made up stories and didn’t sort it out!
Finger-pointing outward is blame gaming and pain playing.
If I want a different outcome, I have to be the facilitator of change, not expect him to!
Heart felt truth in the first instance is a damn sight less contaminating than bottled up stories festering.
Accountability, not blame!!
The journey of learning.