Recently I was at an event and one of the guests asked a really cool question. “Which part of your body do you like the most?”.
When someone asks a question like that, it takes a lot of courage for someone to share their truth, whatever that may be.
We all went around and as I listened I loved the perspectives. The bravery to share where they are.
Then it was my turn. I kinda went deep, as I tend to, but for me nowadays, it isn’t abnormal, just me.
Many years ago, in my early 20’s I was involved with a group of girls that would often say, “Oh god Jen, why do you always have a deep perspective on everything?”
Many years ago, this hurt my feelings incredibly. I was deep. Sure, I didn’t always choose to perceive things as deep but often, I did. I liked to explore more than surface stuff, more than what we saw on the outside. With that group of girls, I felt different. I felt outcast or that there was something wrong with me for choosing that perception. I felt like I didn’t fit in with them, and I wanted to.
One time in the car with said girls, they said it again and something in me just knew, they weren’t my team. They didn’t get me, and they didn’t need to. I knew somewhere in me, that I wasn’t meant to be friends with them. Through a series of events, we parted ways. They were not bad people at all, just not on my team nor was I on theirs.
I wanted to explore more than just current fashion, who was involved with whom. I wanted more than just gossip. I wanted more that what we saw on the surface. That was what I wanted, not necessarily them…
Recently when I shared my ‘unphysical’ perspective on what I most liked about my body, it was uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable in all honesty. It reminds me of what Brene Brown says, “People have to earn the right to hear your story” and I would go further and say, we have to be able to trust ourselves to handle the potential rejection of our selves by others. It is going to happen when we show up as real. Not everyone is going to like it.
The silence met, was uncomfortable. Then, the silence break was, a smart comment and a “well, that was a bit deep”.
Years ago, those kind of comments stung deeply.
Now, I smile and can say with all conviction, I am ok with who I am and ok with where I am….it causes no discomfort now and shows me how far I have come.
All experiences have the opportunity to be teachers and when the student is ready it shows.
So I wonder, are you ok with who you are where you are and who is on your team. People who seek to understand and deeply know you, or people who are uncomfortable with who you are…in all it’s awkwardness and imperfection?
But more importantly, can YOU be comfortable with your own awkwardness and imperfection. After all, it is only you who has to live with you always.
Be kind to yourself
Big love. xx